Roses are red Violets are blue I am staraiL so dont touch me!!!!!

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A mother is sitting with her son at the park. A nearby man suddenly breaks into uncontrollable coughing. The mother leans over to her son and whispers, 'Smoker's cough.' The son never takes up smoking.

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- On the cliff edge are standing three people: an Asian, Jewish and black man. Who's going to fall first? - Who's going to care about this?

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Just think...there are 7 billion people in the world...so that's 14 billion orgasms!

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I got put through anger management when I was a child it made me mad.

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Q: What's the best way to satisfy your hunger A: Eat

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I was walking down the street the other day and I saw this lady and suddenly: POTATOES!!!!!!!!!

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A Christian, a Sunni Muslim, and a Shi'a Muslim walked into a government building. Turns out, they were Lebanese, so this was a normal occurrence. Thus, to draw any humor from it before first taking into account the weaknesses of your own government would be both unwise and unfair.

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The patient says, "Give me the bad news first!" Doctor replies, "You've got AIDS." "Oh, no! What could be worse than that?" asks the patient. "You've also got Alzheimer's Disease." Looking relieved the patient says, 'at least it shall be over quickly.'

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How do you make your grandma fly? Push her off the back of a plane.

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Why did FiddleBob Joe chuck a stick of butter out the window? Because he wanted to see a butter fly

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Your Mama's so fat she can't fit into a toy car!

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what do you call a homeless man? poor.

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What's the main difference between dogs and children? When children reach their teen years they grow up and leave home. When dogs reach their teen years they die of old age.

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A man walks into a bar. It turns out he's an alcoholic, and he goes home and beats his wife.

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Your momma so fat.... She's at risk of cardiovascular disease. You should take her to a nutritionist.

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Why did the black man go to jail? Because he committed a criminal offense.

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Now I have been typing without even thinking about that, and you have been following me.

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Why did the mentally disabled child begin to cry? Because he shit himself

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Knock knock Who's there? The events which followed are described by police as the August 4th massacre in which a family of five were brutally murdered by two prison escapees who broke into the house in search of a place to hideout.

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What did the orphan get christmas? CANCER

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Eddie Murphy's recent film career.

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So an Alex Gedrose walks into a bar, and orders peanut butter and jelly toast on buttermilk with extra Linda on the side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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