Why can't you give a diabetic a cookie? Due to the lack of Insulin produced in the Pancreas, the sudden spike of sugar into the blood stream may send the person into a diabetic coma, which good possibly result in the amputation of a limb.

There are two muffins in the oven. One says: "It's really getting hot in here!" The other one can't reply because it is already dead.

What's white and sticky? A white stick.

whats funnier than 24? 25

What's funnier than one anti- joke? Two anti- jokes.

Q. What did the atheist ask the pregnant woman? A. You gonna eat that?

Ginger woodpecker throbbing in the moonlight

Knock knock. Who's there? Gestapo. Gestapo who? Your husband is dead.

why couldn't randy turn on his computer? randy is blind and had mistaken his refrigerator for his computer.

A jew, a catholic and a muslim walk into a bar. The catholic man dies of a massive heart attack and the other two men mourn their friend for weeks.

your mama so fat she should go see a doctor.

Cinema summer shits coming this year! Reboot edition ONE! Rocky BarBoler a older man with dreams of becoming a true boxing champion!... but will he succeed against the champion Apollo thirteen? Watch ROCKY To find out. Starring Mike Tyson as Rocky, and Justin Bieber as Apollo thirteen (Do I need remind you Rocky lost in his first movie?, Well that one is for you "Beleibers" because in the end you are misguided cuties.. most way to young for me, but you are as cute as you are silly). Moral: Loves cute girls... especially those over 16... legal age here... good luck calling us all pedophiles... They mature fast here, "beliebe" me, twelve year olds have fully grown boobs... what did you think I meant by cute? RAWR! Look but no touch is a okay for me mama Luigi. I just tend to call me once they turn 16...

A priest, a rabbi and a scientologist walk into a bar. They discuss their various religious viewpoints until the scientologist gets a call informing him of his mother's death. The priest buys him a drink. Then the priest gets a call informing him of his mothers death. The rabbi buys him a drink. The rabbi gets a call. The scientologist expects it to be about the rabbi's mother dying, so he prematurely buys him a drink. It was actually the lottery commission telling the rabbi he won 48 million dollars.

Mom: Are you going to jump of a cliff just cause your friends are? Kid: You got married to dad cause you were the last lonely whore left of all your friends. And you wanna talk to me about peer pressure. Mom: Go jump.

Why did the little girl cry when she fell off the slide? Because when she fell she hit the dirt ground, cause dust to fly into the air, he eyes started to water in response to keep her eyes from being damaged. The slide however, was taken down, too many children had been hurt while playing on it. The community is now pooling money together in order to build a new playground.

There are two muffins in an oven. The first muffin says, "Is it just me, or is it getting hot in here?". The second one says, "Hey, look! A talkin' muffin!".

What did the guy say when he found out his girlfriend had a dick I don't think we should date anymore, you have a dick.

Why did the monkey fall off the tree? It died.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you simply have a chicken joke WITHOUT it crossing the road

If George Washington was the first president, and Barack Obama is the latest, how old is my grandma?

why was the boy sad? because his mom just punched his hamburger

What's worse than getting shot in the face? Nothing really because that could leave you seriously handicapped for the remainder of your life or there is a good chance that you are dead.

When life gives you melons, your dyslexic

that awkward moment when there is no candy in the van.....

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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