why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom T H E R E ' R E A L L D E A D!!!

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If anyone can read me... I am Michael Jackson and I would really appreciate if someone could get me out of this... box... I mean help! Where am I! I think I have been under a long coma and would appreciate any small boys digging me out... Moral: I hope there is no hell... for my own sake that is...

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The man was allergic to water. He unfortunately died because water is needed to sustain health as a human.

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i man walks into a bar, he is found dead two days later with severe head trauma.

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Whats the easiest way to get a dumb blond to have sex with you? rape.

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Roses are red, Violets are violet.

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Knock Knock? Why did you just say knock knock just ring the doorbell

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Why did Kim Kardashian's and Kris Humphries marriage last so long? It didn't

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Wanna hear a joke? Your life.

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You know what it means when a priest lays his watch down on a podium? Absolutely nothing

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Uh... Justin, the most pointless man... I gotta cringe for a moment, I don't want to be mean here, but I think my body cell total opinion pool dropped a large quantity there, its not that I do not want you anymore, but, my body`s mass body cell total is kinda denying me... Actually I am denying IT... ACTUALLY WE ARE DENYING EACH OTHER, (which is totally awesome, united denial fighting against one another FOR DENYING THE MOST! BECAUSE COOPERATION IS FOR PUSSIES!) Anyway, hell I am dead tired, oh yeah, Justin... Man, Uh, who where you again?

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"One day this man walks out of his house to go to work. He sees this snail on his porch. So he picks it up and chucks it over his roof, into the back yard. Snail bounces off a rock, cracks its shell all to ****, and lands in the grass. Snail lies there dying. But it doesn't die. It eats some grass. Slowly heals. Grows a new shell. And after a while it can crawl again. One day the snail up and heads back to the front of the house. Finally, after a year, the little guy crawls back on the porch. Right then, the man walks out to go to work and sees this snail again. So he says to it, 'What the f uck's your problem?'" -Training Day

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because seven "eight" nine. Yeah, I went there.

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What's better than being raped by a donkey? Pie.

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Q: What did one Christmas ornament say to the other? A: I didn't know they could talk! Get me that ornament so I can chat with him!

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Why did blink-182 get a record deal? Because they play quality punk rock.

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How scoops of ice cream does a n*gger get? 0.

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Yo momma's so fat she went to Antartica and all the penguins were like, "Woah. You're fat."

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What did the black guy say to the drug dealer? "You should probably stop dealing drugs to people because it is illegal and you could be sent to prison for doing so."

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "why the long face?" The horse replies "my whole family was killed in 911... And I used the money I got from life insurance to get plastic surgery to always have a smile on my face. My doctor botched the surgery, so now my face is elongated. Even for a horse, of course."

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Knock Knock Who's there? 9/11

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What did the foreigners do to pass time? They blew up the twin towers.

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Why was the jew so happy? He won the lottery which at the time was 3.40 dollars

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Q: whats good about having sex with 18 year olds? A: there's 18 of them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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