Q:why did the man jump of the house A:he did not I threw a frige at him

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No. Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Knock knock... Whose there? Patrick Oh hey, come in...

thumb_up thumb_down -51

A Homosexual, a platypus, and a rubber spoon walk into a bar...

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Why did the cow cross the road? It was escorted by its owner to get to the slaughter-house.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

What's a group of people that has an N, an I, two Gs, an E and an R that have no souls? Gingers.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

Whats worse than sleeping on a bed of hot coals? Lupus

thumb_up thumb_down -87

Why didn't Anne Frank answer the door? Because it was the German SS.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

Why are tootsie rolls brown? because they are....

thumb_up thumb_down +54

A girl was walking home from school, she had a pizza box in her hands, her mom was waiting for her in the car to take her to T.G.I.F, and then she dropped the pizza box in the middle of the street. In a frantic attemp to get the box, she run out into the middle of the street and got hit by a semi. Her funeral is tomorrow.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

A Penguin walks in to a bar. then he walks out.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

What is the difference between a cow and a human? A lot of things.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

A man walk into a bar he buys a few drinks. When he is done the bar tender gives him his check. Man told the bar tender he has no money to pay for it. Bartender says," ok how about this we have a horse in the back that hasn't laughed a day in his life if you can make him laugh you get the drinks for free." so man proceeds to do so. A few minutes later man comes out horse is dying. So the man gets his drink for free. A few days later man comes back with the same deal. So the bartender tells him" that horse hasn't stopped laughing since you went back there. If you can make him stop you get your drinks for free." Man goes in a few minutes later comes out horse is crying. Man man is remarked by how he did it but he doesn't question it. A few days past the man comes back an the horse is still crying...... So the bartender ask the man how he did..... Man says," first I told him I had a bigger dick then him....second time I proved it"

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why was the Jamaican man smoking pot? His doctor prescribed it. The man has a serious case of glaucoma.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What did Stephen Hawkins say to President Obama? He didn't his computer did.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

A horse walks into a bar. He was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why are pigs smelly ? Because a cucumber can't walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

How did the Mexican get into the United States? He showed his passport, and the correct documents & information, and was admitted into the country as a new American citizen.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What's the biggest difference between white and black people? the melanin levels in their skin.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A young farmers cow died in an oil burning, The farmer then said to his son; you get the milk ill get the shovel

thumb_up thumb_down +38

what's the difference between a male and female skeleton? The jaw bone structure

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did Jake fall off his bike? His mom threw a fridge at him.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

get off me you fat b*tch or i will mash you up like a potato

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Yo mama is so poor I saw her kicking a can down the street and asked her what she was doing? Her reply was: Kicking a can down the street. What did you think she was doing? Moving?

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops