Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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What did Jesus say when he walked on water? I'm drowning

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Yo dawg, I heard you like cars. Thats cool, whats your favorite one?

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What did thirty starving Jews fight for on the train ride to Birkenau? A crumb. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Why don't elderly people act their age? because they die.

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What did the truck driver get when he ran over my cat? A pave low.

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Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because the Nazis were on the brink of losing the war and Berlin was shortly to be captured by Soviet forces.

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So I says to the guy "take the money and run." He then takes my money and walks down the street.

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taking out the trash... at night

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Why did the car stop? It ran out of gas.

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What did the dog say to the cat? I don't know actually

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Why did the cashier let the jockey off 10 cents? because he was short 10 cents

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Waiter, waiter, there's a fly in my soup! That's not a fly, it's a gnat.

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Q:what do you call a black man with blonde hair flying a plane? A: A pilot

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Why has the suicide in dentists decreased? -Due to the fact that being a dentist makes suicide redundant!

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I just pooped in my boyfriends mouth. He ate it. Ps. I am a boy

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What do you give the person who has everything? A 20$ gift voucher

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Why don't aliens eat clowns? Because the paint used on their faces makes the extra terrestrials leery of lead poisoning.

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Why is a dog smarter than a human? Because you an asshole if you believe me

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Why did moral man lose his superpowers? Because he read the pointless superpowers section and realized its pointless... Moral: yeah this is my power... :(

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What's black and has a beary taste? A black bear.

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Why Is Helen Keller such a bad driver? Because she is a woman

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What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

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A blind man walked into a bar and got a beer and got drunk and went on a rampage and killed YOUR MOM

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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