What did the fat man eat for breakfast? Nothing, he died of heart failure in the night.

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What's the best type of silence in a family? None, all families should be open in communication.

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ugvvvvvv

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Why did the guy to the moo moo cow say? Yesterday, I took a crap at the restaurant and the toilet got stuck so I stole the vehicle and won the lottery.

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Donald Trump.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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I went to the opticians to get my eyes checked. The optician said "you need glasses".

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What was wrong with the tomato? Nothing.

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A man walks in to a bar. Ouch.

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Knock knock Who's there? Oh. I was just making sound effects.

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Benny: Hi, my name is Benny, what's your name? A potato: ...

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I live in a very rural area, so it's not easy to just go to the store and pick something up. I try to find out how to do things with the stuff I have on hand, so I Googled spot remover, but there are only pictures of stain cleaners. Please help. Spot has rabies.

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LIFE :(

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Q: Why did the boy eat an apple? A: A strong man stuffed it down his throat.

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A panda walks into a bar. He eats but then is tranquilized and taken back to the zoo.

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Why did the man slowly cross the road? He had a prosthetic leg.

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why'd the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

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How do you kill a squirrel? Take the jaws of life. Rip it in half. And suck on the organs.

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Ha ha. You've wasted your life, sucker!

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How does a printer work? You plug it in.

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Why did the blond wreak her car? She stayed up a very long time studying for her mid-term exam, And therefore, was not as attentive to the flow of traffic.

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A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it's in a chicken coop.

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What do a vampire and a ginger have in common they're both afraid of the sunligh- oh wait this anti jokes ohhhhhhh oh well

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops