I tried frying some fish today, and it started sizzling at me. I took it as a direct threat and started yelling at the stove. Eventually it stopped and dinner was ruined, but I was proud of myself for winning.

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If i open this door you can go trough it

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Yo mamas so fat she weighs more than other people

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You know what's really long? The bread lines in Africa

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What did the fat kid get for Christmas? Diabetes.

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What's better then petting a lion? Petting a lion and not getting eaten

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What's worse than a dead baby? 2 dead babies

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What did the daddy hamster say to the baby hamster? Nothing. Male hamsters eat their young.

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knock knock whos there boo boo who why are you sad my wife has cancer

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What did Batman say to Robin just before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile

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Your cat was in pain after after a stack of books suddenly fell on it. It's pain is extra-strong so you give it ExtraStrength Tylenol. Guess what happens next time? Nothing. It takes only 50mg to 60mg of Tylenol to poison a cat. 1 ExtraStrength Tylenol tablet is about 10 times that amount (500mg). You killed your cat. It's dead now and there is no "next time"..

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven, or have you been in a wheelchair all your life?

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How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Let's ride bikes!

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress why is there all this blank space?

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What sinks quickly to the bottom of a river? Your dead parents.

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guess wat chicken butt guess why chicken thy guess who chicken poo guess how he chickened out

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Fifteen out of twenty therapists is great, but five are left out.

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Three blondes are stranded on an island. They all die from starvation.

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Why did Kelliintheraw get punched in the face? Because she is a dumbass

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What do you get when you cross a turkey with a turtle? A bunch of nosy ass people wondering wtf you're doing.

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Rebecca Black walks into a bar she took the back seat

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You know it's sunny outside when you go outside and its sunny

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My parents died!

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Who invented chocolate? I don't know! Keep it to yourself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops