Why did the family have no Christmas tree this year? Because they are Jewish.

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The girl was really drunk and passed out. She woke up the next day with a hangover.

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why was the asian kid the only one to get an A+ in the test? He spent the longest time studying and was therefore better prepared than the other students.

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Yo momma's so fat, she's most likely to be at risk of high cholesterol and should probably get herself tested at her nearest health clinic.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was mauled by a tiger.

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What do you call a black guy who walks into your house and takes your stuff. A repoman, pay your taxes next time

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What's worse than finding a worm inside your apple? Finding an apple inside your worm.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

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Two girls were taken away mysteriously in the night. The next day, no one cared because they were orphans.

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A terrorist robs a walrus.

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A bloke runs into the bank, says to the girl "Stick 'em up!" She says "Righty-o, matey" and sellotapes his bollocks to the ceiling.

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Whats greasy and long? Your moms chesthair

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw a lightbulb? None, they couldn't cross the border.

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Person 1: Happy Halloween! Person 2: Hey, I'm Jewish

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Adam and Eve ate the apple and felt a bit ashamed and stuff. God looked upon them and said, well its just a fucking apple get outta here you kids! Adam and Eve also took things a bit too literal

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A girl that had Malaria couldn't play with her friends, whys this? She died.

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What do you do when your dish washer breaks? divorce her.

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What did the woman do when her husband told her to make him a sandwich? She made him a sandwich promptly.

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A man tells his wife to leave the kitchen

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

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If Life Throws You Melons, Then You're Probably Dyslexic. -S.H.A.T Brother 2Flush

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Whats grosser than a bloody hand? 2 bloody hands.

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What do you call a cat that growls? A cat

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antonio is ssooo shexy and smokes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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