what do you call the head-less man sitting on your porch? By what ever his name is!!

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If chuck noris has five dollars and you have five dollars, he has more money than you. He forgot about the extra dollar in his back pocket

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Why did the man die? because he hit his head and drowned

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I wumbo, you wumbo, he she me,.WUMBO!

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What do you do when you go downstairs in the middle of the night and see your VCR floating in the middle of the living room? Run and cower in fear in this seemingly impossible situation.

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why did michele jackson rape a kid. because he was horny duhhhh!

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Q. what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? A. nothing you done told her twice already

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What's a lil plus a lot A little more then a lot

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why was sally bleeding? they never buy band-aids over her nubs.

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What was the last thing to go through Kurt Cobain's mind? His teeth.

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What does a fish say when it swims into a wall? Damn

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I called your friend gay and he hit me with his fist because he was angry at me for using gay in a derogatory way.

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Guy 1: why are you such a douche? Guy 2: cause douches get the most p***y

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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What happens every 5 seconds? An African kid dies.

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What happens when you run out of butter You ask antonio

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Whats worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an apple and finding half a worm. Wats worse then biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into an eggplant and finding half a worm, as eggplants are usually more expensive so you will have wasted more money and would probably not be willing to eat the rest. And eggplants taste like shit.

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What has two legs and bleeds between them? The back half of a dog with a deep cut in its belly.

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Priest: "Matt, will you take Senae to be your wife, your partner in life and your one true love? Will you cherish her friendship and love her today, tomorrow and forever? Will you trust and honor her, laugh with her and cry with her? Will you be faithful through good times and bad, in sickness and in health as long as you both shall live?" Matt: No

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. What do you call a man who gets a check in the mail every month for doing nothing? A black man

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Q. How do you blindfold a Chinese man? A. With a blindfold.

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How many Jews can you fit in a one-person car? --One in the drivers seat, 30 million in the ashtray

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Q: Why did the man eat the banana? A: Cuz he was hungry!

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all on a deserted island with no food or water. The redhead decides to try and swim to safety, but after a few hours of swimming she becomes to tired to carry on and drowns. After knowing their friend died, the two other women decide that swimming is not a viable option for rescue, so they decide to stay on the island. A few days later a search party rescues them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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