What's a pirates favorite element the periodic table? Gold.

How many Babies can be drowned in a toliet at once? idk the bathtub is much more convienient

How many Jew can you fit in a car? As many as the car seats comfortably.

Wanna know how to confuse a blonde? No. I wanna know which way you would prefer to die.

I tried frying some fish today, and it started sizzling at me. I took it as a direct threat and started yelling at the stove. Eventually it stopped and dinner was ruined, but I was proud of myself for winning.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was wandering because he was lost and got hit by a car in the process.

Justin Bieber

How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends on how hard you throw them.

what did steven hawking say to the prostitute? Nothing, he is unable to speak, he needs help from his word speaker thing.

What's faster a hungry black guy or a car? A car

Two drums and a sybol fall off the edge of a cliff. They hit a random pedestrian at the bottom killing him instantly. da-dum ch

Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

If i open this door you can go trough it

what did meredith and nick have in common an i

Why are the Jamaicans in the kitchen? because they are bad men

Your cat was in pain after after a stack of books suddenly fell on it. It's pain is extra-strong so you give it ExtraStrength Tylenol. Guess what happens next time? Nothing. It takes only 50mg to 60mg of Tylenol to poison a cat. 1 ExtraStrength Tylenol tablet is about 10 times that amount (500mg). You killed your cat. It's dead now and there is no "next time"..

What do you get when you cross a turkey with a turtle? A bunch of nosy ass people wondering wtf you're doing.

What sinks quickly to the bottom of a river? Your dead parents.

Will there be love in your future? Click the hand with the love-line that is closest to yours

guess wat chicken butt guess why chicken thy guess who chicken poo guess how he chickened out

Why did Kelliintheraw get punched in the face? Because she is a dumbass

Fifteen out of twenty therapists is great, but five are left out.

Three blondes are stranded on an island. They all die from starvation.

What did the fat kid get for Christmas? Diabetes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...