Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? No one, because a hollowed out pineapple carcass would not be able to last longer than a month in that high concentration of sodium.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue The mothership came and your did a whole lot of scam

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Guess What!? What?! GIGGITY GIGGITY GOOOOOOOOO!!!!! (ALL RIGHT) OH.

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What do a van and a pencil have in common? You can write with both, except with the van.

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A man walks into a bar in the morning. He is the bartender, and he works there.

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So heres a scenario. You and your twin brother are Siamese twins. You are straight and your brother is gay. Your bother has a friend come over. You only have one butt....

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How do you stop a bus ? Put 3 small children in front of it Whats sad about 3 children who died in a bus crash ? They were my kids. How do you know if you're blind ? You run in to a wall

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why did Jen fall off the swing? because she had no arms. knock knock who's there not Jen

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because She's Dead.

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How do you kill a blonde? Shoot her repeatedly in the face and then slit her throat.

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How do you get a blonde out of a tree? Shoot her in the head.

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Knock, knock ... ... No one answers the door because knocks produce a quieter sound than a doorbell and the residents of the house are upstairs watching a movie.

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What happens when lady gaga and chris brown jump into the pool at the same exact time. They get wet

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile

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Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A Mexican is a Mexican and a bench is a bench.

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what do you get if you put in a pan- a raw chicken, a lemon, assorted vegetables, onions, maybe some soy sauce, and a little olive oil then place this pan into an oven for around two hours, allowing the chicken to moisten. then serve with the assorted vegetable .supper.

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What do you call a person that is green, wearing plaid, and standing next to you in the elevator? What ever their name is

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How did the baby cross the ocean? It was stapled to a whale.

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No this is Patrick, I'm not a krusty krab

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Why did the student go to university? To pursue a higher education.

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Homeless man....it's what's for dinner!

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roses are red violets are blue your friend is a scumbag and so are you

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What do you call a Knight who farts a lot? Sir Farts-a-lot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops