how do you open a can of coke with no tab? throw a washing machine at it

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Roses are red, violets are blue, whoever met you is a BIG fool

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What's blue, and smells like fish? A firetruck, I was kidding about the blue and fish.

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How did the guy feel after his wife died? Pretty shitty, I'd imagine..

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Do you believe in Santa? Cuz i don't. Kookaburra

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Jim Jim who? Oops, wrong house.

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what's worse than biting into an apple with a worm in it~? lots of things.

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What did Madeline McCann get for Christmas? Nothing she's dead.

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A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head on into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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There are two men waiting in line at the supermarket. One of the men reaches forwards and taps the other one on the shoulder. He says, "You dropped your wallet.". He picks up his wallet and both of the men continue on with their day.

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What is worse than blue balls for a guy? Depending on the girl, absolutely nothing. Moral: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

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A man walks into a bar.....he then slips on an ice-cube and suffers massive trauma due to the fall. The owner is sued by the mans family and subsequently loses his business. He can no longer provide for his family. His wife is two weeks away from giving birth to their third child.

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Whats black and white and says moo? A Dalmatian retriever with a voice box.

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why did michele jackson rape a kid. because he was horny duhhhh!

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what did the white car look like... a black car but the color is different

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LeBron in the fourth quarter

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Knock knock. Who's there? Cher. Cher who? Just Cher.

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Did you hear about the 2 pretzels walking down the street? It's not true, pretzels are not capable of autonomous movement.

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I get more excited then my dog when I give her a treat

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a green man.

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What's big, brown, and full of crap? A septic tank.

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What's greasier than a baby? A burger

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what is the germans word for fat dick what is very fat hairy dick

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Twelve billion Nero, you puppy dog you hot blooded latino man. Why cant I control it myself?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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