Why do blind people laugh at this joke? Because they can't read it and everyone else is laughing.

What did the tree say to the other tree?....nothing cause trees can't talk!

What's the color of a healthy kidney. I have no f***ing idea.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? I'm a talking banana; what more do you want from me?

What amusing anecdote did the Department of Educational Dictations officer tell his coworker? There was no amusing anecdote. DED men tell no tales.

I'm Batman.

What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot

2 brothers were arguing, both had anger problems to the point where one started war with the other. Boy1: I HATE YOU Boy2: MOM HATES YOU Boy1: ....Wait why? Boy2: YOU WERE AN ACCIDENT SHE TRIED TO SELL YOU TO A MEXICAN AND HE SAID THAT THING WAY TOO DAM UGLEH ITD BURN THE FACES OFF MY COWS.

Youre mom is so dead...

Q. Where's your nan???? A. In my closet

What did the teenage girl text her friend while driving? It doesn't matter, she's dead now. Don't text and drive.

Yo momma so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

A boy walks into a shop He buys some sweets.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra. It was hanging on a clothes line he didn't see.

The day the forces of light fight the forces of darkness, we will all live in darkness no matter who wins. Pure darkness will not allow you to see. Pure light will blind you.

so david walks into a convenience store and wanted to buy a pack of gum. so he asks the cashier how much is the gum and the cashier said that it is 99 cents and then david said oh no! i thought it was 98 cents.

What did the chicken say after crossing the road? Nothing.It's a f*cking chicken.

What do you call a bitchy unreliable friend? You don't call that bitch at all.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock? Whos there? Not Sally...

Q: What do Ethiopians eat at night? A: Nothing.

Why are white people afraid of black people? The holocaust

Person 1:"Knock Knock" Person 2: Whos there.... Wait why did you literally say the words "Knock Knock" Person 1: I have no idea

What's funnier than throwing a baby off a bridge? Everything, if you think that's funny, you're a terrible person.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...