What has two wheels and a handle bar? A bike.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A snail walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "hey we don't serve snails here," and flicks him across the street. 3 years later the snails walks back into the bar and said, "why'd ya do that for??"

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She was a donut.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What'd the left nut say to the right nut? How's it hangin?

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why don't midgets live in penthouses? They can't reach the button in the elevator.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

whats black and white? a zebra

thumb_up thumb_down +29

whats black red and white. a zebra with a contagious red rash

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? It was simply tired of being mocked and judged by society.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Q: How do you break into your own house? A:You don't....thats ridiculous(:

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Carl has 300 candy bars. He eats 295. What does Carl have? Diabetes. Carl has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

So a guy walks into a bar. He asks the woman next to him, ''Can I buy you a drink?'' The woman says,''No thank you.''

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What does a gay horse eat? Low-energy foods should only be fed to horses who are not regularly being worked and participating in high performance. According to the University of Kentucky's College of Agriculture, energy is vital to horses who need to perform their best as it aids many of the body's functions including muscle contraction, respiration and circulation. Only feed a low-energy diet to an idle horse and feed a high-energy diet to an older or sickly horse and to a working horse.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

what the difference between Obama and osama bin laden nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +27

You are in a sealed room with Joseph Stalin, Osama bin Laden, and Hitler and have a revolver with two bullets. Who do you shoot? None of them. You awkwardly set the gun down and wonder how to get out of this room filled with three corpses.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the brown guy say to the black person when he got fired? Nothing, did you think this was going to be racist or something?!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A boy bought a dozen roses, eleven real, one fake. He looks deeply into his girlfriends eyes, hers looking back, brimming with love and affection as he says, "I slept with your sister."

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call mexicans running down the hallway? JAIL BREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

I'm trying to see from Adam Fantuzzi's point of view but i cant stick my head that far up my arse Daniel

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How many Jews does it take to change a lightbulb? Depends on how big the lightbulb is

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How to condom style ayyyyyy sexy horsey how how how how how to condom style

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What does Snoop Dogg eat when he's sick? Chicken Noodle Snoop.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you get if you cross a Kangaroo and a Sheep? They are too entirely different species and cannot be crossbred.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How do you get a kid to shut up? You ducttape his mouth,legs, and arms and throw him in a pit

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops