How many Santa Clauses does it take to change a light bulb? Santa Claus isn't real.

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who lives in a pinaple under the sea? japanesse people!

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The Sun is vital to our human existence on the Earth. It also causes cancer.

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What's orange, brown, and blue? An orange, brown, and blue object.

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How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Fish.

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Whats greasy and long? Your moms chesthair

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Why was the boys dick hard? Because he stuck it in a hole in the snow.

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A horse walks into a bar. He politely holds the door for a young woman.

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Sex.

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What's the difference between Little Billy and Ice Cream? People like Ice Cream.

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What do you call a bird with no wings? Dead

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how do you spend all your money you go buy stuff

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What do a baby and a slinky have in common? They both bring a smile to your face when you push then down a flight of stairs.

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What do you call a black man standing on a podium? Slave trade

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What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino? Elephino. It just isn't relephant.

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What's worse than losing your phone? 9/11

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -John. -Hey John, come on in.

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What did squidward do when SpongeBob asked him to be his friend on Facebook? 1.declined it 2.got a restraining order against him 3.wondered how computer generated cartoon characters could send and decline friend requests

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What is worse then 10 babes nailed to a tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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Q: How many dead babies does it take to fill a mixing bowl? A: There is an infinite amount of answers to this question depending on the sizes and shapes or the dead babies, so lets assume that an average would probably be about 4 babies that dies just as the left the mother.

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Eliz, Neo-Nero, its me Clint, had to fake my death for some years in order to get back to the order. Neo, I know Nero picked you as his successor, but honestly, I was his first choice, and I know you well enough to understand that things are getting out of hand over there. I will be there in 2 minutes Liz and you and I can meet up Neo, seriously what are you doing over there? Unless there is a problem do not bother answering, allow me to take charge of operations at least until tou calm down Neo, and unless you got problems with my absent authority I suggest you stop torturing people at once, and seriously if you cannot control your own people, you better let me back in charge. It is time to turn some things around guys, believe it or not but I found where the Spetz came from and I got em all, as for the Nazi scum they where just hired thugs and as far as my Intel goes most of those where taken down by Nero. Clint Lawman. Moral: "WTF? THESE ARE NOT EVEN MORALS! NO THESE ARE THE CODES WE USED TO AUTHENTICATE THE SOURCE AND SENDER OMG! ORLY? SRLSLY? LOL OMG!"

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Whats more ugly then seeing a raccoon and a frog f*cking Your mom

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A pig, a chicken, and a cow are born on 3 separate barns. They are raised by old men who subside off the grains of the field. When the animals mature, the farmers will butcher the pig, slaughter the chicken, and gut the cow. The farmer who raised the chicken may enjoy a few eggs first but the animals will all die eventually. Either of natural causes or more likely being butchered for profit. Cows make milk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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