Roses are read, Violets are blue, I have aids, now so do you

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What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table has legs.

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What's the difference between a plum and bunny? They're both purple, except the bunny.

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Omg you bought a Prius? Children in Africa are starving and could have used that money to buy food.

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Nah, could not care less about how I sound on "The network", its just that I spent all night finishing the core concept to my new novel, and all the capital letters and stuff sound like Jim Carrey in my head as I type. So Redcunt, where you going? When you coming back?

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What's the difference between a dead dog lying in the middle of the street and a dead black man lying in the middle of the street? The physical differences you would commonly expect to be between a human being and a dog.

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how many baby's does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them

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How do you fix a chimpanzee? With a monkey wrench

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do you know cadbury choclate buttons? yeah, you know the white ones come out now, do you why? so the black kids can get there face dirty too

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You still alive? I used to be called proteus by the way, but then you disappeared and Neronism or watever its called now turned insane. I mean we killed you man! Out of mercy, you telling me a jacket changed you and everything? Where have you been? Six million followers? And all the shit that has made "moral man" the most lauded thing on Horsehead is you? Mind helping me make sense out of all of this?

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Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO? A: One is a human while the other is an unidentified flying object.

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-"Hey! You guys wanna hear a joke" -"What?" -"Womens Rights"

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what do you call an anoying ginger? jimmy overby

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whats worse than finding half a worm in your apple? being wrongly accussed of a crime you didnt commit because of your race, and being put on death row

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Knock Knock Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? To get to the other side!

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A man walks into a bar with a monkey...I forget the rest but your mother is a hor.

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so a girl asks a guy: "if a tree falls in the forest, and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?" the guy responds: "trees dont grow in the kitchen, so you shouldnt be worried about it."

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What is worse than 10 babys in 1 garbage can? 1 baby in 10 garbage cans.

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Whats the worst way to find out your married. Hungover

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What did the redneck say about his missing tractor? Where's my tators.

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Yo momma is so fat that her cholesterol level is above 240 mg/dL and should highly consider a vegan diet if she wishes to improve.

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Two men are stranded in a structure on an alien planet, they are frightened when they are told that there is evidence of a life form near them, they explore their surroundings and find a snake-like creature that flares what looks like wings, bites one of the men on the hand and wraps its tail around his arm squeezing it until the arm breaks (we see the bone poke through his sleeve and he screams); the creature slithers up his sleeve, into his mask and lunges into his mouth killing him, and the other man is sprayed on the mask with acid and we see the plastic of the mask melt onto his face.

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Why did the snappy dresser take a button off of a coat? To see a button fly! NO YOU IDIOT YOU DID IT WRONG, IT'S SUPPOSED TO ABOUT ABOUT A "BUTTER FLY" OMG YOU DOLT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Is it a bird, is it a plane?! No it's.... It's a bird.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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