A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

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Alice? Childhood Alice? I did not recognize you! Its so nice to hear from you again! I would not worry too much about Nero`s shouting at night dear friend, while he has overcome a lot, he suffers from nightmares and nightterrors, its not pain, not physical at least, please do not tell him I told you, he prefers sparing people the details. Should I type as If I am typing to Nero? Sorry, I am just a bit flustered, Nero has never been the romantic type, not towards me at least... I know the "official chatting hours are over, but can I ask you or rather him to stay on a bit longer?"

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roses r red violets r blue u jumped in the air and saw a planet to

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why did the girl fall down someone threw four monkeys and a refrigerator at her

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To avoid being killed in the slaughter house.

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Boy: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're accent sure sounds like it.

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Chuck Norris once starred in a movie with Bruce Lee.

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what's worse than fining out that the best and worst jokes on anti-joke.com are about the Holocaust The Holocaust

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so a jew walks into a bar and leaves at 9:00 becuase he has work in the morning.

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squash squash who squash my ass

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Eight hours? Sigh, leave it to me then! We both know you are a sweetheart behind that thick skull of yours, I mean why would you ask if it bothers me then?

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Whats green, has 4 legs and falls out a tree? A pool table

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Whi can't John sleep? Because he is dead!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are white Daisies are yellow Why am I naming flower colours?

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So you into art? You been to Louvre by the way?

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You!!!!!! Cause your whole existence is just one big joke.

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The cast of the 'Jersey Shore' is the worst thing to happen to the Jersey shore

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A hermaphrodite walks into a bakery, orders an eclair, then leaves.

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Why do they bury lawyers 10 feet deep? Because deep down they are really good people.

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What did the girl with no eyes say? I can not see.

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How do you stop a drunk driver? With a minivan and family of four.

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What should you do when a man carrying a stuffed tortoise tries to break into your house? Call the police.

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gay pom...

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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