A patient goes to the doctor. The doctor says I have bad news and even worse news. The patient says "What's the bad news?" The doctor says "You only have 24 hours to live." The patient says "Oh my gosh what could possibly be worse than that?!" The doctor says "Well...we've been trying to contact you since yesterday..."

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Why is it interesting to watch your mum shower? It's Not, its sick you pervert

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to fix a lightbulb? Lets go ride bikes.

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here's a chuck norris fact: Chuck Norris is 5'10 and lost to bruce lee!

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Are you trolling with me? I mean how can you know where I live if you have not even picked up the phone yet? Listen, if you wanted to make me upset, you did it okay? You won, I like you a lot and I would never do such a thing. I understand you being upset Nero, I am so sorry, I never meant nor wanted for this to happen, I hope you can forgive me someday.

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Boy, do I love chicken strips. Sometimes, when I’m home alone, I’ll take some chicken strips fresh out of the oven and rub them in my scalp. It doesn’t do much for my hair health, but I like the way they feel running through my strands of hair. The flakey coating, smooth white meat, and warmth. Yum.

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What's brown and sticky? A Stick

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How do you get rid of a pile of dead babies? Call 911 so someone will pick them up and take them to the morgue.

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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What's green, fuzzy, and can kill you if it fell from a tree? A pool table.

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A blonde walks into a bar... ...she got rufeed.

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I like my coffe like my women Without a Penis

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Justin Beiber

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Did you hear about the gay midget? He came out of the cupboard.

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Why did the little boy stick a fork in the electrical socket? Because he wanted to escape his abusive stepfather

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Why did the girl fall down the stairs? She has no legs, that's why.

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Q. Why is Italy shaped like a boot? A. Do you think they could fit all that shit in a tennis shoe?

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Why is Kony so mean? He used to date your mom.

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What would you do for a klondike bar? I'm allergic to milk.

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Don't turn around when you're talking to me. Why? You will walk off of that cliff

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what was so bad about hitler? he inadvertently subjected his political officials to death by rope

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Q: what are very funny A: Jokes

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have alzheimers, Roses are red

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A white, black, and Hispanic man walk into a bar at 2:00 in the morning. Unfortunately the bar closed at midnight, so they were charged with breaking and entering, and were sentenced to 2 years in prison.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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