a duck walks in to a gay bar and asks for a stick they asked where he wanted it before he could answer he was rapped

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So, how 'bout that airline food?

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What do you call a girl who can run faster than me? Virgin

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Why did Jimmy never like old people? Because he was abused as a child by one.

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knock knok Who's there The police, I regret to inform you your son was killed in a horrific traffic accident

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If you're paddling upstream in a canoe and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes fit in a doghouse? None! Ice cream doesn't have bones!

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What's the difference between a cow and a cow? Nothing, they are both the same.

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My brownie is so warm and squishy. You know what else is warm and squishy? Freshly killed babyies

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Steve buys 60 watermelons.. What does he have? A lot of watermelons.

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balls

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69- by Adam Chebali

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An astronaut walks into a bar. He orders a beer. After waiting for about 1 and a half minutes he receives his beer. The bartender says it was 3 dollars. The astronaut checks his wallet and finds no money so he pays with credit card. The bartender swipes his credit card but the card doesn't work. So the astronaut takes out his debit card. When the bartender swipes the debit card it worked. In relief the astronaut looks at the bartender and says "Thank you" and then goes home.

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Why did the hockey cross the road? To get to KFC.

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Boy, do I love chicken strips. Sometimes, when I’m home alone, I’ll take some chicken strips fresh out of the oven and rub them in my scalp. It doesn’t do much for my hair health, but I like the way they feel running through my strands of hair. The flakey coating, smooth white meat, and warmth. Yum.

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Why is it interesting to watch your mum shower? It's Not, its sick you pervert

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here's a chuck norris fact: Chuck Norris is 5'10 and lost to bruce lee!

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A patient goes to the doctor. The doctor says I have bad news and even worse news. The patient says "What's the bad news?" The doctor says "You only have 24 hours to live." The patient says "Oh my gosh what could possibly be worse than that?!" The doctor says "Well...we've been trying to contact you since yesterday..."

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A circus clown riding the cutest miniture Shetland pony both fall over a cliff and die.

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to fix a lightbulb? Lets go ride bikes.

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Why didn't the girl get on the school bus? It was Sunday.

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Are you trolling with me? I mean how can you know where I live if you have not even picked up the phone yet? Listen, if you wanted to make me upset, you did it okay? You won, I like you a lot and I would never do such a thing. I understand you being upset Nero, I am so sorry, I never meant nor wanted for this to happen, I hope you can forgive me someday.

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How do you get rid of a pile of dead babies? Call 911 so someone will pick them up and take them to the morgue.

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What's green, fuzzy, and can kill you if it fell from a tree? A pool table.

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I like my coffe like my women Without a Penis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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