The grandfather's grandson said, "They charged me $10 just for a cup of coffee!" The grandfather said, "They charged me with bayonets."

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How could you wake up Lady Gaga? poke her face

how long did it take the blonde to solve the rubiks cube when she knew the algorithm? Approximately 6.73 minutes.

Do you know the reason people like sleeping? It's because they have good dreams. Ooh la la.--

What has an orange t shirt A dick I lied about the shirt

A black man and a white woman walk into a bar and celebrate their interracial marriage anniversary over a couple of drinks and then call a cab to avoid driving while intoxicated

Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

A white man on his way to happens to sit next to a black man the following conversation involves a democrat and a repuplican arguing about obama's current presidentcy and the wallstreet journal the two do not agree on both sujects and part ways...the white man is later brutally murdered in his own house infront of white and children in an unrelated incident. We should all help to stop violence in our local nieghborhoods.

whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? i know how to make a pizza

Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

Why couldn't the man read? Because he was illiterate

yo mama is so fat that wii fit puts her in the overweight category

What do you get when you cross a helicopter, elephant, and a rhino? Heliphino

Dani Barton is a stupid GIRL

Knock knock Who's there? Jesus Jesus who? Jesus Christ, your lord and savior.

I went to the principle's office because I had a hard time reading They tried to tell me I was lesdistic

Why did the black man give his seat to a white man? Because the white man had a leg injury, and the black man was being a courteous good samaritan.

you walk into a bar Griffin: 'are you ok'

What do you call a man bathing with a toaster Electrocuted

An American and Russian are arguing about their country. The American says "I can do things you can't. I can walk into the White House and into the Oval Office. I can bang my hands on my President's desk and say "Mr. Obama, I don't like the way you're running your country." The Russian says, "I can do that." The American says, "No, you can't." The Russian says, "Sure I can. I can go to Vladimir Putin's office and say "Mr. President, I don't like the way Mr. Obama's running his country."

when debbie meets downer

Why did the little boy fall asleep? His parent pulled the plug.

A man called the police and was later arrested for murdering himself,