purple pickles

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Knock Knock Who's there? Not Michael Jackson!

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One day i woke up, and found my wife dead on the floor. lol.

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I was approached the other day by an officer as he asked... "Son where are your parents?" I replied, "I dont know i'm an orphan" The officer then laughed and walked away

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How do you get Helen Keller to keep a secret? You politely ask her not to tell anyone.

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What did the fly say when he went to Dunkin Donuts? Can I have a doughnut?

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What do you do after a murder kills your entire family? Nothing, he killed you too

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how do you get blondes to drown? stick a mirror to the bottom of the pool

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Why didn't the dinosaur cross the road? Because they are extinct and roads did not exist when they were alive.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Hot Lady: What do you do for a living? Guy: Phosphorus, Oxygen, and Radon. Hot Lady: So you are a chemist? Guy: Think again! Think about Acronyms... Hot Lady: OPRa, so Opera correct? Guy: (Obviously talking to a Blonde) P, O, Rn Hot Lady: So, you are a chemistry teacher! Guy: (Sighs to himself thinking how PORn relates to chemistry. Which it does in biochemistry, but he does not know that).

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Wanna hear a dead baby joke? Of course you don't. they're sick and disgusting and enjoyment of one merits only the deepest of society's hatred and scorn.

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Oh, hi Dave, come inside.

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What do you call an african american child that hasn't eaten in a week? hungry.

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Who is big and stupid My brother

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Why did the black man give his seat to a white man? Because the white man had a leg injury, and the black man was being a courteous good samaritan.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor

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why did the little girl eat grapes? because she felt like it.

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Religionh

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Yo mama so fat , when she went to the doctors office and stepped on the scale they said please, your weight, not your phone number .

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What did Thisara say? You cant see me bich

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How many clowns fit in a car? Depends how many get in the car.

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what is the differance between a toyata and a van full of dead babies I dont own a toyata

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What is black, white, and red all over A penguin in a blender

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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