Whats worse than losing your car keys? Watching your 4 year old son get visciously raped by a 20stone sex hungry pedophile and knowing you cant do anything about it because the sex hungry pedophile is your dad and he is the alpha male of the family so he has full mating rights.

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What's the best thing about The Pixies? Their music.

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I was walking down the street and a guy fell down right next to me. He woke up a hour later and asked "what smells like year old cat pee?" I said "year old cat pee retard honestly." Then he died. Morale don't ask questions you don't want to know the answers to.

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What did Britney Spears say when she got to Paris? "Oh my God, we're in France!"

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What do 69 and 420 have in common? That was my score on my Math final:(

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What the difference between a duck? One of the legs is both the same.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house... Knock knock Who's there? The Chincken

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"Solids tunderf" he said, while chewing his gum.

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A Frenchman, an Irishman, and a Russian walk into a bar. The Frenchman orders a glass of wine, the Irishman orders a whisky, and the Russian, who prefers to be sober, orders a glass of water. They have an all-around pleasant night, yet they leave the bar upset. Why? A severe water contamination in the town resulted in the Russian man consuming a fatal dose of arsenic.

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why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead. why;d the banana fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey.

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Why didn't the boy cross the street? He didn't have legs

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Why did the boy with cancer cross the road? He was hoping to get hit by a truck.

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What do you call a fridge? A Fridge

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How do five Jews get to America? They get their passports and ride a public plane, safely leaving the airport and getting on a taxi to go to their hotel.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Peas are green Plums are purple Thieves are black

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What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

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a turtle walks into a bar and eats everyone

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Why did the guy lie down? He was dead.

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What is big, red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater

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What do you say to a girl with two black eyes? Nothing you haven't already said twice.

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Bill: ask me if i am three ducks in a man suit Jim: are you three ducks in a man suit? Bill: yes

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i was gunna write a joke..but i took an arrow to me knee.

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What do you call a tub full of water? A bathtub!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops