roses are red violets are blue your mum is a whore as are you:)

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Why was the man hanging from a tree? He got the Death Penalty

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Have you ever seen that really famous blind man's house? Neither has he.

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ATH: if for every 1 minute for billy is 5 minutes and every 5 minutes is an hour than billy is on acid and needs to come down.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gestapos.

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I went up to my friend and she said to me, "Foop." I calmly went to the nearest teacher and told her that Susie is having a mental breakdown again

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So how does the chicken cross the road? He doesn't, chickens live on farms.

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Why did little Jonny drop his ice cream? He was his by a bus? Why did the Kuala fall out the tree? Because it died.

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There were three people on an airplane. A Mexican, an American and an Italian. The plane chrashed and they all died.

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One man said to another, "Hey, can you hear that?" "No." He replied.

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Why couldn't the boy write his name because he had no arms.

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I wumbo, you wumbo, he she me,.WUMBO!

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Last night I had the strangest dream. I was eating a big marshmallow and when I woke up this morning I had appendicitus

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Wh ydo i Hate you? 'COs Your a Gimp!

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your mammas so big that she needs paint rollers to put on lipstick

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What do you get when you cross a confused man and an anti-social woman? I don't know, go away.

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Why did the little girl cry? The little girl cried for mercy as her attackers violated every inch of her innocent body, tearing her up from the inside until her organs were forced out of her anus and blood squirted from her ears as the pressure inside her body exceeded to a maximum. After the attackers were done with the corpse, they cut off her limbs and stapled them to her head.They placed her now decomposing body on the front porch of the worried parents' house and rang the doorbell.

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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What did the doctor say to the recently diagnosed AIDS patient? I'm sorry there is nothing we can do.

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Why did the giant frog attack the party goers with a ballistic missile? oh where tos tart...it's, just such a long story, I don't really know where to begin, in fact it's probably better if you just take my word for it, no need to go into details. we just don't have time for that now.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana, Jack got high, pulled down his fly, and asked Jill if she wanna. Jill said yes, pulled up her dress, and had a little fun. But stupid Jill forgot the pill, and now they have a son

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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In the time it has taken you to read this, a small African child has died.

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Four turtles once fell into nuclear waste. They remained unnoticed and later died from exposure to radiation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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