Knock, Knock!! Who's there?! The Police!! Open the f*cking door and get down on your knees.

If life throws you melons, either catch them or get out of he way to avoid injury.

I hated hipsters before hating hipsters was mainstream. Does that make it sound like I have a fixed gear bicycle? Because I don't... I promise... What's a fixed gear bicycle, you ask? You mean you don't know???

women's rights

A: Ask me if I'm a tree! B: Okay, are you a tree? A: No, no I am not.

Where was little Sara when the bomb went off? Everywhere. "Knock Knock" "Who's there?" Sara's hands

What did the man in need of a prosthetic arm get from the hospital? A diagnosis for cancer.

What's the difference between a zit and a priest? These two things are so different that I couldn't list all of the differences in this text box.

What do you call 25 college teens at a party? A good time.

Whats more painful than falling onto a sharp stone? Suffering the loss of your mother and newborn brother in a tragic car accident on your birthday.

whats black and blue and red all over? my wife shhh!

Q: What did the whale say to the other whale? A: MMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

what has genitial warts? me

How many Jews fit in an oven? Nein

i'll leave 'em dead in the living room. get it leave 'em dead in the living room

what do a heater and a dead baby have in common? a dead baby is only warm for a small period of time

Why didn't the man get to see his family on Christmas? He was blind.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to KFC for his job interview

What is a bad thing to see and is attached to a boy's body. The middle finger u dumb ass!

What do you call four friends spending a wild night in Las Vegas that they can't rember the next day? A rip off of the Hangover

What do you call a 6 year old with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor.

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

Whats black and white with red all over? A dead panda

Q: What's pink and fuzzy? A: Pink Fuzz...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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