It was Valentines Day today, I thought I should get her something... I brought flowers to her grave.

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? SPONGEBO... nope bin laden

You are pretty bad emulations, first of all you should all swear and cuss a lot, that way you never get green thumbs and you all get minimal attention (negative attention) from people whose messages do not concern. I mean come on, if you are all different, you gotta admit that you are all good at typing like the very same person, its just that, none of them are good at sounding as the guy they are trying to emulate.

A black guy walks into a resturaunt. he finishes his drink, graciously tips the bartender and leaves.

A white, black, jewish, and hispanic person apply for a job as an accountant who gets the job? One of them.

A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. His family is struggling financially and his children are severely malnourished. If he wasn't an alcoholic, he could afford healthcare for his family and move into a better neighborhood. But he's not, so they will die a long, painful death.

A school bus full of orphans falls of a cliff.

A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Because he's blind.

whats black and blue and white all over A little caucasian boy who is being abused by his parents

-Knock Knock. -Who's there? -Willis. -Wills who? -IT'S ME WILLIS. YOUR SON! -Whatchu talking bout Willis, I ain't got no son. -Remember Bill, my father? I was conceived on your 20th birthday party. .... - Is he fat white Bill, Mexican Bill, or Billette the shemale? And thus, poor Willis jumps off a bridge, committing suicide, because his biological mother turns out to be a shemale screwing whore.

If Jewish men light a menorah during Hanukkah, what do Jewish women light? Jewish women light a menorah as well; Judaism is a relatively fair religion to both sexes.

What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy mushroom soup in my testicles belly Buton cheese.com ( tickle my. Nipple frog)

Why did the chicken cross the road? 7 ate 9!

wots brown and smells like shite shite

Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? Nope.

Brown Bear, Brown Bear what do you see? I see some poachers looking at that tiger over there.

What did Thisara say? You cant see me bich

What's the difference between a piano and a fish? A piano is an instrument, fish is an animal

Chuck Norris can right-click with a mac mouse

Q. Dr.evil? JHHHHHHHHOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN

what did Stephen Hawking say to the prositute? nothing, because he has a disability which renders him unable to speak

What do you get when lettuce and oranges come together? I dont know, thats why I asked you.

A priest was walking home from church one day when he found a young boy crouching naked in the bushes. The priest contacted local law enforcement authorities on his cell phone and proceeded home once they arrived.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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