Roses are red, Violets are blue, Where is the bathroom, I need to go poo.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

"Knock knock" "Who's there?" Not Sally because she has no arms ~Sally jokes

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a tennis match between Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder? An anachronistic hypothetical sporting event that would never happen.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Doctor: I have good news and bad news. The good news is that your parents survived the car accident. Kid: And the bad news is? Doctor: I have a horrible sense of humor, they're both dead. I'm so sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Y couldn't you stop the bowling ball? Because it was going down a hill.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

how do you burn a lot of calories? set a fat kid on fire

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I couldn't afford a hair cut... So i contracted cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Your mother is average.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A donkey looks at a goat. The goat walks away.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Your momma's so fat, she has just been diagnosed with Chronic renal failure.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

One day a baby hit himself on the head with a stuffed animal. I lied, it was a brick, so he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

whats difference between womens rights now and 10 years ago? nothing, they are both just lies men tell women to make them feel good.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Someone threw a fridge at her

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What does the cookie monster and the blue man group have in common? They are both homosexually active

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Yo mama so fat she went on a diet and steadily lost wait

thumb_up thumb_down +5

24

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Two babies are playing in a sand box.. They both start crying because they get sand in their eyes

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was the little boy crying He had a frog stapled to his head

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A program that creates "pointless inventions" and posts them at the wrong sections.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why can't helen keller drive? Because she is deaf and blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Big feet on a man means he has, Nothing, a man's foot size has no relation to the size of his penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops