- Anti Joke

what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to my house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

Why couldn't the old man see? Because he was stabbed in the eye.

what do u call a 50 yr old man at disneyland a rapist

Why did the chicken cross the road Because the farmer is obviously to stupid to build a proper chicken coop, and thus his chicken is crossing the road and will most likely be hit by a car

What do you call a black baby? A nigglet

Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

What do you get when you mix a refrigerator with a microwave? A refrigerated microwave.

What happened to the blond that went to collage? She got her masters degree and became a brain surgeon.

Why were accents created? So when people go to Texas they come back sounding like a D-Bag.

Immaculate Misconception - Motionless In White \m/

What's the difference between a mole and dynamite? - Moles don't explode... unless you fill them with dynamite.

What is red and green and goes round and round? A frog in a blender!

Did you hear about the mail man without a mail truck? He walked

What happened to the guy who bought a nice, brand new, plasma screen t.v.? He hanged himself.

What do you call a black man and an Asian at a school? Two hard-working, dedicated teachers.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Why did Lisa let go of the monkey bars? she was being molested

What do you call two men kissing? Gay.

What do you call a cat with no ears? Anything you fucking well like. Cats can't understand speech.

How do you stop a vehicle moving at high speeds? Apply the brakes in a reasonable fashion.

What's red and sticky A DEAD BABY

Why did the blonde girl lie? Because she's a liar.