yo mamas like a chicken hut all the cock* fly in

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Roses are red, violets are blue, the little midget is coming for you. If you don't run and if you don't hide, you will probably be stepped on because of my incredible big size.

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? An ambulance.

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guess what what that wasnt it

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What did the doctor say to the minority, parapalegic after he barely escaped a fire alive? You just got burned!!

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Yeah, Eliza, its me, its so strange, you are the only one I remember from highschool, I was worried you had forgotten about me, anyway, yeah type as if you where speaking to him, and dont worry, I know I could not keep a secret back then, and I told Nero, so and he promised me he would kindly break my fingers if I told anyone, besides I dont do that anymore trust me.

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What's brown and has four wheels? Wood, I lied about the wheels.

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Q: What has eyes but can't see, has arms but no hands and legs but no feet A: a blind man with his hands and feet amputated with cancer

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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how do you turn your dishwasher into a garbage disposal? make her take out the trash.

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What's the difference between tiger woods and Santa clause? Tiger woods is a thug

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Your mom is so fat that she steps on the scale and sees a relatively large number compared to the rest of human society.

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Why are there no swimming pools in Mexico? The average yearly income is $3,523, and pool chemicals are very expensive.

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why did the chicken cross the road? he didn't make it

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How can you finally get your girlfriend to scream in the bedroom? Store the bodies there.

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what does a granny look best in? 1950

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How do you stop the baby from touching the stove? Cut of its arms.

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Why did the hipster burn his mouth on a piece of pizza? Because the pizza was on fire.

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Im taking a shit right now.

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People Order Our Patties

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Why are anti jokes so funny? Because their not.

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Yeah, me too. The car just ran straight through the stoplight and it was all over...

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a black man. A pizza can feed a family of five.

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How do you say vampire in spanish? Vampiro.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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