A rat and a pig rape a puppy. Hey, that's just life.

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What did the man do when he crossed the road? Nothing he got hit by a car

Know who had straight parents? Adolf Hitler.

why did the duck cross the road? because his d**k was stuck in the chickens a**....

Whatd the boner say to the limp dick get your head up kid

A man walks into me and I say: "WATCH IT PUNK!"

You wanna know something that doesn't exist? Grandma's.........that haven't given BLOW JOBS!

What did one muffin in an oven say to another muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects thus incapable of sppech.

You're so fat, that a picture of you fell off the wall.

How do you keep children off your lawn? Touch them.

Sophie Cameron is Gay

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

A duck flew calmly through the air and landed softly on a beautiful lake, where he was then shot for trespassing.

A guy walks into a bar, and then is hit with the full force of all the things he never did in life, of how he wasted his younger years chasing a bigger paycheck rather than trying to live life, and all the love he wasted on people who didn't care about him. He begins to cry as his first drink arrives, and orders many more as the night passes. He loses his keys as he leaves and stumbles home in a drunken stupor, contemplating suicide.

YOUR MOTHER IS SO FAT that she sought a relevant support group. My understanding is that she tried Overeater's Anonymous and lost a few pounds, but it meant more that it improved her sense of self-worth. She's more comfortable with herself as a somewhat overweight woman, and a much happier person now. We're all very proud of her.

What do you get when you mix 5 bottles of beer, a bottle of vodka, 3 glasses of red wine, and 15 jello shots? Alcohol poisoning.

Q) How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? A)You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved. Q) Did you hear about the two guys who wanted to go to Paris? A) They didn't go! Q) Why did the boy throw his Television out the window? A) Cause it was completely broken. Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. An orange. <<< This is the ultimate tough anti-joke Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Red paint. Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

knock knock who's there greg greg who greg is crying because his grandma dementia made her forgot all about him

Q: What's worse than a pile of dead babies? A: The live one at the bottom trying to eat his way out. Q: What's worse than that? A: When he comes back for more.

Once upon a time there was a young teenager who was bullied a lot. She died 100 years ago.

Mickey Mouse peed on a house. Just kidding. Micky Mouse isn't real.

If a white person and black person have a baby, what colour is the baby? Grey

What did the munchy alzhemiers farmer say about his missing tractor? Where's my tators?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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