What did the girl with two broken legs give her parents for Christmas? Medical bills.

You are in a sealed room with Joseph Stalin, Osama bin Laden, and Hitler and have a revolver with two bullets. Who do you shoot? None of them. You awkwardly set the gun down and wonder how to get out of this room filled with three corpses.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

What's better then petting a lion? Petting a lion and not getting eaten

What's worse than getting a fly stuck up your nose? Been alone in a hospital room with Jimmy Saville.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

you know what is so funny hillary clinton!!!!!!

Nero, thank you for this opportunity, I desire to join the shadows, I left a thumbs up. Michelle

who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Osama Bin Laden

What did the Scientist say after he created Frankenstein? - I just created Frankenstein.

What do you call a black man that has just gotten out of jail? A former criminal who has served his time in prison and is now trying to redeem himself by becoming a respectable member of his community

What do you call a Muslim in control of a plane? A pilot

Your blood is red. Your bruises are blue. I have a gun. Now drag your carcass away from my residence.

how do you know when your in love? massive erection.

Roses are brown, Violets are brown, Who shit in my garden?

What do you call a pig that just took a bath? Clean!

How many morman minutes does it take to get to school? A lightyear

billy has 100 candy bars he eats 78 of them what does he have now diabetes

i dont know why but when ever i see jew they always say "whats up?"

Q.What's green and smells like grass??? A. Grass

what did meredith and nick have in common an i

How do you stop a group of black guys from fighting? go over to them and ask them politely to stop.

What did the guy say to the mushroom? You're a fungi

What's the only think duct tape can't fix? Your parents divorce.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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