4 men walk into a bar... Don't jump to conclusions! They were gay.

thumb_up thumb_down

whats long, hard, and full of semen? A submarine

thumb_up thumb_down

Simon walks into a bar. He orders his favorite beer. The bartender says "Hey Simon, I see you're back with the usual, aye?" Simon says "Touch you tongue to your elbow." The bartender couldn't do it.

thumb_up thumb_down

What is worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings What is worse than 2 bee stings? The Holocaust What is worse than the Holocaust? 3 bee stings

thumb_up thumb_down

How do mummies keep there secrets wrapped up? They are dead.

thumb_up thumb_down

A dyslexic man walks into a bar. His own feelings of inadequacy over his learning disability have driven him to drink and is driving a wedge between him and his family

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was the black man arrested? He was tried and convicted in a court of law for being an accessory to murder.

thumb_up thumb_down

Doctor Doctor I think I'm a dog. Sit down on the couch and tell me about it. Ok.

thumb_up thumb_down

Stand back, I don't want to hit anyone with the axe.

thumb_up thumb_down

look under under where under under where. under the couch

thumb_up thumb_down

A blonde, ginger, and brunette took the SAT. They all performed successfully and were admitted into their colleges of choice.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the boy fall out of the plane. Because the plane was on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam...

thumb_up thumb_down

what's worse than than finding a worm up your ass? Death

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the catholic preist take all the little boys out in the woods? They were going on a camping trip.

thumb_up thumb_down

Hickory dickory dock. Two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one; The other escaped with minor injuries.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a mouse having sex? A spouse.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's white and sticky? A white stick.

thumb_up thumb_down

What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

thumb_up thumb_down

Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? One is a human being and one is an inanimate object that people enjoy sitting on.

thumb_up thumb_down

If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

thumb_up thumb_down

Did you hear about Helen Keller's dog? Neither did she.

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot of his head

thumb_up thumb_down

Feeling that your friends do not listen to your insightful conversations? BUY A PARROT! Teach it to say "Uhuh", and "Ahah", and "Dats coo!" NOW YOU CAN BE COMPLETELY APRECIATED BY A FUCKING BIRD THAT DOES NOT KNOW WHAT YOU ARE SAYING... ...BUT IS IT... APPRECIATING IT? DUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN! MYSTERY!

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops