A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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A girl and a boy where sitting on a couch together. The boy told the girl politly that she hass gained a significant amount of weight and should lose it. She then pulled out a candy bar in her back pocket and shoved it down his throat, to which he suffocated, because she was on her period when to comment was made.

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An African-American man calls KFC. An employee answers. "Thank you for calling KFC." The man replies, "I'm sorry, I must have dialed the wrong number."

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Why did the blonde walk into the wall? I lied it was nathaniel nugnes

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What did the black man say to the other black man? We both share the same ethnicity

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hy did the boy cross the road? to jump of the bridge on the other side.

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What do you call a black man chasing after a macdonalds van? The fastest thing in the dessert.

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How do prevent a nun from walking through a revolving door? Put a spear through her head.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a gardener

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leon harney ya pikey

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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So a dog walks into a bar.. well thats not true as most bars do not allow dogs.. oh..sorry.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Less than you cuz your fat.

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Donkey lips

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why does gamma not smile because he has strokes

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4 men walk into a bar... Don't jump to conclusions! They were gay.

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Ask me if I'm well Are you well? No

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How do Yankees fans cheer for their favorite sports team? Let's go Yankees!

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A man walks into a bar The bar now has a hole in it.

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Where did little Timmy go when the bomb dropped? Everywhere.

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A man walks into a bar and a lady asks "Can I help you?" The man replies "No." and walks out of the bar.

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Simon walks into a bar. He orders his favorite beer. The bartender says "Hey Simon, I see you're back with the usual, aye?" Simon says "Touch you tongue to your elbow." The bartender couldn't do it.

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What did the fat man do? He fell over...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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