Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because She's Dead.

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How do you stop a bus ? Put 3 small children in front of it Whats sad about 3 children who died in a bus crash ? They were my kids. How do you know if you're blind ? You run in to a wall

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What do you call a person that is green, wearing plaid, and standing next to you in the elevator? What ever their name is

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile

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an athiest walks into a church

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Why was the African american pulled over in New Jersey? He was 17 and didn't have his red stickers.

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Why did the student go to university? To pursue a higher education.

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roses are red violets are blue your friend is a scumbag and so are you

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what do you get if you put in a pan- a raw chicken, a lemon, assorted vegetables, onions, maybe some soy sauce, and a little olive oil then place this pan into an oven for around two hours, allowing the chicken to moisten. then serve with the assorted vegetable .supper.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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what do you call a man with no friends? it's because of all the wear and tear that's done to the socks being thrown in her, and she desanitizes only the nun with no forebeard

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How did the baby cross the ocean? It was stapled to a whale.

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what did the mexican cop say to the mexican drug dealer? can i get some of that

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A blonde is elected President of the United States. Half way through her inauguration speech, she forgets how to read.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he had poor coordination.

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Why is Steve Jobs dead, but Bill Gates isn't? Because Bill Gates wasn't diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer.

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Jenny tried out for the school play. She got a callback the next day. Her father had died.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Mary had a little lamb. Then Died.

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Why did the hipster burn his tongue? The tea he was drinking was at an unsuitable temperature for consumption resulting in the scalding of his mouth.

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What did the priest say to the little boy? "Reading antijokes in rapid succession takes almost all humor from them."

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Why was the girl crying on the busy street? She was naked.

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What do you call a Knight who farts a lot? Sir Farts-a-lot

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Poop.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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