What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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One time at band camp.............tha'ts it........

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How come Kristin cant go play soccer anymore? She broke her leg kicking her brother in the face.

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roses are red violets are blue some poems make sense banana monkey glue

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Other Guy: What are you looking at? Me: You.

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what happens when a panther and a gorilla fight? i dont know i never seen it before.

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Why did the fat man hit the ground before the skinny man? Because he jumped first.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Actually they're purple That's why they're called "violets"

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What did the baby say to it's mother as it was being thrown in the trash bin? Nothing, it couldn't talk yet.

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Why did Bob fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Obviously not Bob, Idiot What did Bob get for christmas? A glove Actually, I lie. He hasn't unboxed it yet.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? 2 Holocausts

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Why does a clown wear makeup? So you can't identify him to police after he shoves your kids in his tiny car and drives away.

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What's a pirates favorite element the periodic table? Gold.

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What did the girl with two broken legs give her parents for Christmas? Medical bills.

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Knock knock. Whose there? Orange. Orange who? NOTHING, because NOTHING rhymes with orange!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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You are in a sealed room with Joseph Stalin, Osama bin Laden, and Hitler and have a revolver with two bullets. Who do you shoot? None of them. You awkwardly set the gun down and wonder how to get out of this room filled with three corpses.

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What's better then petting a lion? Petting a lion and not getting eaten

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Nero, thank you for this opportunity, I desire to join the shadows, I left a thumbs up. Michelle

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What did the Scientist say after he created Frankenstein? - I just created Frankenstein.

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who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Osama Bin Laden

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What's worse than getting a fly stuck up your nose? Been alone in a hospital room with Jimmy Saville.

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What do you call a black man that has just gotten out of jail? A former criminal who has served his time in prison and is now trying to redeem himself by becoming a respectable member of his community

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops