If you could eliminate one thing in your life, what would it be ? My ex.

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hey girl, My Gyarados is BIG enough for you to ride it ALL day and night

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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whats the biggest ever snake found ? i dont know i dont study snakes :O

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What's black and white and red all over? The Nazi Flag in WW II

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What's the most popular fruit in the U.S.? Bananas What's the most popular vegetable in the U.S.? Stephen Hawking

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three peanuts where walking down a dark alley, one was asalted

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Why doesn't Micheal Jackson do a music video with Usher? Because he is dead.

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what do you throw at a mexican man when he is drowning? his family.

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One out of every 3 smokers dies.................. the rest gain immortality.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Super Monkey Ball. Super Monkey Ball who? No wonder it's super.

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Man in Balcony: You're telling it wrong!

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What do u firmly grasp and stroke until u can't go any longer? A shakeweight....

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How did Goku save his home planet? He didn't.

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Did you know there is a whole country occupied with twins? It's called China

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What's worse than kissy face pictures on facebook? The porn pictures on facebook.

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What is the difference between a dolphin and a ghost? A dolphin is not a ghost

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A person tells an anti-joke. Nothing out of the ordinary happens.

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Fight fire with with fire! That would be impossible, it'd just make the fire bigger. And probably kill you.

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One night, a heartbroken magician named Jeff went to a bar. Jeff met a nice girl, and they talked and laughed together for hours. After a while, Jeff asked her, "do you want to see a magic trick?" She ate his wiener.

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whats long and stretchy? elastic

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A woman walks into the bathroom and hears the sound of moaning. Not sure what to do she looks around and sees couples as far as the eye can see. She quickly turns to the woman and man standing next to her and asks what is going on here?! The woman says can't you read this is not a bathroom this is a public sex room! Only an idiot would ask that question. In shock the woman takes another look around and she spots someone she finds familiar. When she walks closer she finds that it is her boyfriend and that he is with another woman. Furious she walks up to him and slaps him in the face. The boyfriend looks at her and says sorry your sex just got old. Furious she says to him we never had sex!

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why did the kid cross the road he didnt he had no legs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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