whats worse than finding a worm in your apple. finding two worms in your apple. and being an orphan.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 27

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I remember my grandfather's last words he said to me before he kicked the bucket...."Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

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I hated hipsters before hating hipsters was mainstream. Does that make it sound like I have a fixed gear bicycle? Because I don't... I promise... What's a fixed gear bicycle, you ask? You mean you don't know???

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What do you call a smart blond? There aren't any so there shouldn't be a name for it.

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Once upon a time, A lonely man was living in the woods. He died of exhaustion, dehydration, starvation, and bacterial infection. The end. Once upon a time, Another lonely man was living in the woods. He built a house, made a well, made a farm, got married, had kids, and had a wonderful life. The end.

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How do you get a kid to shut up? You ducttape his mouth,legs, and arms and throw him in a pit

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Teacher- And that is why the Pythagorean theorem only works for RIGHT triangles. Any questions? Student- I like grapes.

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What do you call a guy eating a sandwich? Whatever his name is.

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whats your moms inside look like nick because all there is is fat

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A Black guy and a Jewish guy walk into a bar. What does the black guy say to the Jew? "Hi".

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A horse walks into a bar, and a man says "Hey, why the long face?" The horse calmly turns to him and replies, "Because I'm a horse you drunk moron."

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'Dyslexic man walks into a bar... and orders a pint

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I AM SATAN, YOU SHALL LOVE ME BEFORE EVERYBODY ELSE! YOU SHALL STONE THY INSOLENT CHILDREN! THY SHALL R*PE AND KILL IN MY NAME! YOU SHALL HANG MY SON ON THE CROSS WHICH I SACRIFICED BECAUSE HE IS IMMORTAL/BECAUSE I LOVE YOU? "Moral" "Man": Joke is on you, who do you think I am, God?

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock "Who's there?" Not Sally!

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What happens if a girl punches a guy? A white man in prison, convicted of sexual assault.

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How to condom style ayyyyyy sexy horsey how how how how how to condom style

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How do you make a dead baby float? Ice cream, root beer, and a dead baby.

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What did the doctor say to the young boy? We only planned on a annual checkup but have discovered that your and aids baby and only have 3 days to live. Tell your family members goodbye you'll be on life support in the next couple hours.

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why did the boy have no friends? cause he was smelly

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Whats black and white and eats like horse? A zebra.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

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Who enslaves small people and forces them to work in his factory all year round in ridiculous outfits. Santa

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to KFC for his job interview

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops