What did God say to the man who just died? Nothing. God and Heaven something parents make up so kids will do the right thing.

sure!

Whats green and has wheels?? - Grass, I lied about the wheels

HALF LIFE 4 COMING OUT SOON!

what did the red rock say to the blue rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk.

Q:How do you confuse a blonde preschooler? A:Calculus.

your mothers so fat...... shes borderline diabetic.

What's the main difference between dogs and children? When children reach their teen years they grow up and leave home. When dogs reach their teen years they die of old age.

Want to hear a joke? Womens rights.

Yesterday i ate an owl with all the feathers on it

A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

Hitler: honey what's for dinner? Hitlers wife: a jewwwsyy steak

So let's pretend two men that had been friends for a very long time, one man asks the other man how he is, so the man tells the other man how he is doing. Then that man asks the other man how he is doing. The two men were engaged in a very interesting conversation. What did the men do next? Nothing. We're pretending, remember?

What happens when you walk around with a kick me sign on your back? you get punched in the face. How are you supposed to know it says kick, you cant see your own back.

What was the motto of the Holocaust? Yolo.

Roses are red Violets are blue Plants are green because of the high levels of mitochondria in their cells.

what did the dog say to the mailman? woof.

The situation... Two black men are skiing down the Sahara. The Question... How much syrup does it take to kill a life-guard. The answer... The sunglasses because he never be a porcupine.

How did the little boy with cancer run in his running race??? Very Well....

Whoever said "don't start what you can't finish" hopefully didn't think about having kids Cuz that would be horror Get it?

What did the mute say to the deaf man?

AHLTFKCITAWKSHTC

Why did Jimmy fall out of the tree. Cause' I shot him.

A man walks into a bar. He I then taken to the hospital for a major head injury.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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