Chuck Norris can right-click with a mac mouse

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What do you get when lettuce and oranges come together? I dont know, thats why I asked you.

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Why didnt jerry trip over a slug? Because jerry is an arabian and the atmosphere in arabi is to hot for a slug.

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what did Stephen Hawking say to the prositute? nothing, because he has a disability which renders him unable to speak

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A priest was walking home from church one day when he found a young boy crouching naked in the bushes. The priest contacted local law enforcement authorities on his cell phone and proceeded home once they arrived.

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? It's Jeff. Hi there Jeff, come in, the doors open.

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What do you call a black man who has been killed? A dead person.

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Because he's blind.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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What do you call a donkey on Christmas? a donkey.

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A christian and an atheist are in a bar. The christian says "if you don't accept Jesus Christ as your lord and savior you will go to hell." The atheist replies "No I won't."

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I like my women like I like my coffee Without a penis

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What does a man say to his annoying friend? Please stop annoying me now.

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yo momma is so stupid, she probably in in the bottom 1% of her age group

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Person 1: Knock knock. Person 2: Come in.

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Theory: Jesus: Father why must I go die in order to defeat sin, is sin not a product of humans? God: SHHH! You want humans to know they are stronger than us? Real life: Later on the cross Jesus: FATHER WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! God: *Thunder* Moral: Makes sense... Kinda? Maybe? A bit? I honestly do not get it :(

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The last time I heard that joke, I fell off my pet single celled bacteria.

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yo mamas so dumb she named her house butt and her son crack and then she called the police saying I looked all over my butt and i can not find my crack.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was holding hands with the first. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It saw a banana. Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? It slipped. Why did the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? It thought this was all a game. Why did the sixth monkey commit suicide? All his friends were gone.

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What do you call the worst band ever? Nickelback.

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What's black on bottom and white on top?? Society

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a paraplegic? A paraplegic doesn't walk out on his family

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why did the Japanese boy drop his ice cream ? Because he was hit by a building.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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