A baby seal walks into a club.

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What did the dyslexic say to the nun? When I write, I typically misplace letters in words.

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Yo momma's so bulimic, and there's nothing funny about it at all.

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How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

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What happened when an FBI agent and a cop argued over control of a hostage situation? Several people including a respected community leader were killed.

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Why was Billy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why was the orange so serious? He was trying to concentrate.

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Hey I just met you. And this is crazy. So get in my van. Cause I have candy.

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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Why cant jonny walk? He has no legs.

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Why was sally mopping the floor? Because she was a slave

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What's worse than stabbing your eye with a fork? Stabbing both your eyes with a fork.

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Why does it take longer to build a Blonde snowman as opposed to a regular one? The trip to find a blonde wig suitable for a snowman, especially if you are picky and have a certain wig in mind, generally takes up more time than not searching for a wig at all.

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A horse walks into a bar. He was blind.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Jerry Jerry Who? Jerry Sandusky, I've come to rape your kids.

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Q: Why did Little Suzie fall off of the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Little Suzie!

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Shaving your balls is just plain nuts!

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Why can't Helen Keller have sex? She is dead

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Why did Bert go to the doctor? He had an appointment.

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What do you call a 5 year old with no friends? A sandy hook survivor

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Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Pi pi pi pi Pi pi pi pi Pingu Pingu!

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whats black and white? a zebra

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What did the fat kid eat for dinner? Salad, he's on a diet.

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Why did the women cross the road? I dont know.. why? no clue.. why was she out of the kitchen

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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