Q: Why was the old man sad? A: Because he has a quarter super glued to the bottom of his foot

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Haiku's are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you keep a secret? Kill yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the Romans conquer everyone? They were power-hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call it when a Priest, a Rabbi, and a Vicar meet for a drink at the bar? A social gathering.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

If an asian man is really angry with a jewish man named gabriel what does he say? Gabriel I am angry with you

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why aren't elephants allowed in public pools? Because they are elephants.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the monkey die? he was stapled to a grenade

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why was Little Billy crying? He had an axe embedded in his chest.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats the difference between a black an white guy? They have different skin tones

thumb_up thumb_down -6

fish fishy caoimhin

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A man looks both ways before crossing the street he gets hit by an airplane

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What happened to Dave when he walked across the road? He got hit by a car and died... Knock Knock Who's there? Not Dave...

thumb_up thumb_down -6

I believe if Floyd Mayweather fought Muhammad Ali I believe it would be a close fight but Floyd would win. Because Ali has Parkinson's

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A blind guy and a priest walk into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down -6

have you ever heard of the mexican that went to college...no...oh me neither

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you catch a green elephant? you paint it red and use a Red Elephant Trap

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Timmy's mom is an alcoholic. His dog is asleep in the backyard. Timmy asks his mother, "Why is our dog sleeping?" His mother replies, "It's not sleeping, its dead."

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why is 6 scared of 7? Because last year, when 6 was going to the gas station, 7 approached him and said "gimme all your money or else I'll shoot you". 6 was so scared he ran away crying. About a few days later 6 spots 7 again and this time he was with 9. He said "yo 6! If you don't give me your money, im gonna do this to you!" and then 7 started biting and chewing 9 as if he was some kind of cannibal. 6 ran away and called the police. He told him that 7 ate 9.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the polar bear say when he walked into a sauna? Absolutely nothing because he was a polar bear. I mean seriously, did I even have to ask? Everyone should know that a polar bear is an animal and he wouldn't say anything. If he did it would most likely be a growl or a roar. If you believed that he would have said something you obviously didn't pass the first grade. I finish with the fact that a polar bear would not survive in a sauna because they are accustomed to cold climate. I guess this was just a waste of time.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats worse than ten dead babies in one tree? I dont know, but that is quite a graphic sight i have in my mind right now.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

An orphan walks into a bar. The bartender calls Child Protective Services and is given to a nice foster family.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops