Q:Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? A:He slipped and fell. Q2:Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A2:He was stapled to the first monkey. Q3:Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A3:Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

We start counting at 1, therefore 0 is countless. I've slept with countless women.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why couldn't the asian man drive? He had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What does it take to write a good joke? A punchline

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the difference between 10 dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage..

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did Jimmy fall of a building without a paracute? Because he lost a bet.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

My Boyfriend

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I threw him

thumb_up thumb_down +13

When life gives you lemons, thank life for its generosity.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you make someone to shut up You tell them to SHUT UP!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" Not getting a response, the disoriented bartender realizes he was talking to his own reflection in the mirror at the back of the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What time is it? I just looked at my clock on the wall. It is 9:14 AM Eastern Standard Time.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A black man is trapped inside a bottle, how does he get out? He doesn't it is simply impossible for a human to get trapped inside a bottle.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A horse walks into a barn.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's the difference between a bag of dead babies and a Ferrari? I have a bag of dead babies in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the turtle say to the hare? Nothing. Animals can't speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Whats blue and white and red all over? The American flag

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Who is green? Mike Wazowsky.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's sad about 5 black men falling off a cliff? The master has no slaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A black man from Harlem walked in to a store. He then proceeded to buy a few items using money he had earlier procured by working dilligently.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did little Susie give to young Billy on Christmas? Genital Herpes.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the guy say when he found out his girlfriend had a dick I don't think we should date anymore, you have a dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

One day, a mother was speaking with her daughters. "Mommy," the first one said, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we brought you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second daughter said, "Why did you name me Rose?" ""Because when we brought you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMBWWAAAAGGGH!" the last daughter cried. She was born with severe special needs and is incapable of coherent speech.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops