What's worse than getting tripped? Getting shot.

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At home, 3:20 pm - Close eyes for 10 mins, it's 3:30. At school, 3:20 pm - Close eyes for 20 mins, it's 3:40 and schools been finished for ten minutes.

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so theres a plane, inside the plane are 500 solid bricks one falls out, how many are left? 499 What are the three steps to putting an elephant into a refrigirator? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, close the fridge. What are the four steps to putting a dear in the fridge? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer and then shut the fridge. It's Simba's birthday, what animal isn't there? The deer. its still in the fridge. a lady is walking across a street, she suddenly falls to the ground why? Because the brick hit her in the face. (:

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Knock, knock. "Who's there?" "Jehovah's Witness." "Jehovah's witness, who?" "Just Jehovah's Witness. Your doorbell is not working."

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Your momma is so fat she has an increased risk or cardiac arrest due to obesity. I ridicule her based on the theory that her morbid obesity is due to the fact that she has a diet consisting of large amounts of calories and high fat content and/or she is known to be very sedentary and does not partake in physical exercise. However, if this increase in body fat content is due to genetics I retract my previous statement and wish only the best for her, also, you might want to lower your calorie intake and visit your local gym, lest you succumb to morbid obesity, much like your mother.

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Roses are red. Violets are black. Why is ur chest as flat as ur back?

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Men's rights Because its an anti-joke

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What did the black man in a white 2007 Jeep Wrangler when he went over the speed limit? A speeding ticket

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whats black and white and red all over? ...a nun in a blender

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Why do women live longer? Once they're sexual and metabolistic hormones are moleculy different from men's, their metabolism is different and act on different organs and vice-versa. Therefore, they live longer. Still, in a worldwide average, more men born than women.

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What did the fat man buy at Mcdonalds? A unicorn

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Polly went out for a fag. Then she was raped.

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Spoiling your fun. Jesus said on the cross, I shall return. Then he returned three days later to say goodbye to his people. Moral: What the fuck are you Åsshats waiting for? The third coming?

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What do you call a person with no legs and an eyepatch? Names.

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Q: Who was the best Jewish cook? A: Hitler.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? An Alzheimers's patient. An Alzheimers's patient who? To get to the other side!

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Where do fat girls go to eat doughnuts? Jenny Craig

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What Is big, round, and looks like gaben. Gaben!

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What do you do when you do what the do is the do for the do to do what you're doing that's done for what she did if you didn't do what not to do? ^error

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Me. You who? Me.

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why did the bird fall out of the tree? Earth's Gravitational pull

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is an active member of a taliban.

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If a picture is worth a thousand words, what is a video worth?

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Ronan Parke, making Justin Bieber look straight since 2009

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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