What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A Wii.

One day, a mother was speaking with her daughters. "Mommy," the first one said, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we brought you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second daughter said, "Why did you name me Rose?" ""Because when we brought you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMBWWAAAAGGGH!" the last daughter cried. She was born with severe special needs and is incapable of coherent speech.

What did the Asian say to the Mexican working at the friutstand? Hi, I'm Asian!

What's sad about 5 black men falling off a cliff? The master has no slaves.

Two muffins are being baked in an oven. One muffin says to the other muffin "Boy, it sure is getting hot in here," and the other muffin replies "yeah, that's because it's an oven."

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

PLEASE DONT READ THIS OR YOU'LL BE DIED IF YOU DON'T POST MESSAGE ON LIKE DIFFERENT VIDEO

Two goldfish are swimming in the ocean. One says to another, "I don't think we will be able to survive in this salty environment".

A bar walks into Chuck Norris.

Cripples are lame.

What did the Bishop say to the pebble? Wash my car

WHO LET THE DOGS OUT?!?!?!!! Not Michael Vick.

How do you kill a black man wearing a bullet proof turbin? Shoot him anywere other then his turbin.

An Asian tries to climb a staircase in a wheelchair. He finds this difficult, because he is in a wheelchair.

I bought one of those anti-bullying wristbands, when they first came out. Well, I say bought. I actually stole it from a short, fat ginger kid.

Why did the man remain calm when the judge passed the death sentence? Because he was in another country and had no connection with the case.

What do you call a black man with no legs? Crippled.

What do animals eat at the beach? Sandwitches

A woman wears a dress.

The Pope, Queen Elizabeth and a schoolboy are on a plane that is going to crash. It crashes and they all die instantly.

Why did the man's motorcycle not move when the street light turned green? Because it was a filing cabinet.

Whats hard and long? An erect penile shaft.

So I'm at the office and I tell this guy, "Hey can you pass me the stapler. But when you pass it over, make sure there are staples in it 'cause if not, I can't staple anything."

why does the world spin? Chuck Norris says so

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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