Q: What is a laptop that sings? A: A Dell

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Adele Gordon walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Why the long face?' Because she is a horse lol.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A man walks into a bar. He drinks.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

I have a joke that involves a duck. Can you guess what it is? If not, then.......uh...........sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A man walks into a bar. It turns out he's an alcoholic, and he goes home and beats his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Two condoms walk into a gay bar. The people in the bar are perplexed that two inanimate objects are capable of locomotion.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What do you get when Johnson cooks toast? Shit toast.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because his face was stapled to the wall.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Once upon a time, there was a man. He was black. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What has eyes but can't see? Helen Keller. What has ears but can't hear? A field of corn.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Do you want to hear a joke, Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Nah, could not care less about how I sound on "The network", its just that I spent all night finishing the core concept to my new novel, and all the capital letters and stuff sound like Jim Carrey in my head as I type. So Redcunt, where you going? When you coming back?

thumb_up thumb_down -32

HahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhaahhahahahhahahaahhahahaahhahahahahahahhaahhahaahhahahahaahhahaahahaHahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhaahhahahahhahahaahhahahaahhahahahahahahhaahhahaahhahahahaahhahaahahaHahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhaahhahahahhahahaahhahahaahhahahahahahahhaahhahaahhahahahaahhahaahahaHahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhaahhahahahhahahaahhahahaahhahahahahahahhaahhahaahhahahahaahhahaahahaHahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhaahhahahahhahahaahhahahaahhahahahahahahhaahhahaahhahahahaahhahaahahaHahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhaahhahahahhahahaahhahahaahhahahahahahahhaahhahaahhahahahaahhahaahahaHahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhaahhahahahhahahaahhahahaahhahahahahahahhaahhahaahhahahahaahhahaahahaHahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhaahhahahahhahahaahhahahaahhahahahahahahhaahhahaahhahahahaahhahaahaha - Louis

thumb_up thumb_down -32

There were three guy's caught trespassing on a farmers land. The farmer said he wont kill them if they did what they were told, he told everyone to pick one fruit. The 1st guy came to him with grapes. The farmer told him to shove it up his butt so he did, the 2nd guy came to the farmer with orange, the farmer told him to shove them up his butt but the guy kept laughing, the farmer got angry and snapped whats so funny? My buddy over over there is picking watermelons.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Have you seen Hellen Keller's treehouse? No. It's quite nice, her father made it himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why do fat people make such good slaves? They're too fat and lazy to escape. Unfortunately, if you want your slave to be fat, you actually have to feed it properly.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What time is it when it is time to get a watch? About 4:30, unless its a monday.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Penis Gabriel - Go eat some ice cream! Boner McDaniels - No. Penis Gabriel - Ok.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

PEANIS!

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? Nickleback.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Bob: Whats the difference between a fish and a microwave? Steve: I don't know Bob: Daaaamn your dumb!

thumb_up thumb_down -36

A man walks into a bar. The barman says, 'why the lo-, wait, i thought you was that horse again.'

thumb_up thumb_down -36

If Chuck Norris has $5 and you have $5... that's $10.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops