Whats small, red and white, and would kill you if shot out of a cannon? A decapitated baby

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How many Manatees does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, assuming Manatees have hands.

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What starts with F and ends with Uck? F U C K

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Why don't dinosaurs talk anymore? Because they're all dead, duh. :P

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Q: How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they are too weak to climb the ladder.

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So, a bulldozer rolls into a bar, there is no bar now.

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womens rights

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Why did people on a plane die? Because it crashed.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 is a homophobe and 7 is a little fruity.

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"Want to hear something ironic?" ...he said to the deaf man.

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Stephen Hawking wheels into the Center for Theoretical Cosmology.

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What did the man do when he dropped his bar of soap. He picked it up

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Q. If the early bird gets the worm, what does the early worm get? A. Eaten...

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How do you get a one armed Pollack out of a tree? Hold his family at gunpoint.

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Roses are red, and violets are freakin violet. Not blue.

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What do you do if a goose comes flying towards you? Duck.

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I am white, you are black, we can be friends, racism was abolished.

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Why was the man waiting at the bus stop? He was on his way to work

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A man invites his Irish friend to his house. "Would you like something to drink?" the man asks. "Just kidding, we don't have any drinks." Later, they die of dehydration.

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Once upon a time, A lonely man was living in the woods. He died of exhaustion, dehydration, starvation, and bacterial infection. The end. Once upon a time, Another lonely man was living in the woods. He built a house, made a well, made a farm, got married, had kids, and had a wonderful life. The end.

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So there is a blind man... and he walks past a fish market and takes a deep breath and says"Oh boy it sure does smell like fish out here".

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A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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what did the blind, deaf, retarded child, without any arms or legs get for Christmas? nothing, his parents are dead

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How do you burn Lebron James's house? With fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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