Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was sick and tired of all the repeated monkey jokes and commited suicide and preceded to fall out of the tree.

Knock knock. Who's there? ... Damn knick knockers.

Why is 6 so afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered six offender.

When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

What did the blind deaf kid get for Christmas? Cancer.

How many times has Susie fallen off the swing? Not enough.

Whats worse than burnt toast? Getting molested

What you reading? reading?

Why did the baby cross the road? Because it most likely saw a shiny object and wanted to play with it. Luckily there was no cars passing at the time but the parents should be more careful to keep thier child in sight and away from peril. That and the baby found a small piece of glass that could be harmful to it....

A blonde walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What're you drinking?" The blonde says, "Nothing yet. That's why I'm in a bar. But your lack of basic observation skills is disturbing."

Why did the monkey ride a bike? Because he was taken from his natural environment, abused for years and forced to ride a bike.

What did Batman say to Robin just before they got in the bat mobile? Robin,get in the bat mobile.

what did the cop say to the robber... freeze bitch hope you like prison food and penis

What is a bad thing to see and is attached to a boy's body. The middle finger u dumb ass!

You and your parents are going to die today

Knock, knock. Door opened.

How do Chinese parents name their children? With deep thought and consideration about a thoughtful, respectful and honorable name.

What is the difference between Barack Obama and Simba from the Lion King? One is a cartoon character from a beloved Disney classic and the other is the current President of the United States of America.

A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

Why did the baker turn off the oven? He had run out of business

A horse walks into a bar. The Barman asks "why the long face?" The horse says "My son was recently killed in a horrific horse racing accident"

A guy walks into a bar and orders 4 shots. The bartender promptly pulls out a gun and shoots him 4 times.

Knock Knock Who's There? The police- we are sorry to inform you that your wife and only child was killed in a brutal car accident earlier this evening, We offer our condolences.

What was Tyler's last name? Grzesik.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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