goats are like mushrooms, if you shoot a duck, im scared of toasters

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" the Eggman and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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FOOL TOP COMMENT IS MINE!

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FORTY SECONDS!!!!!!

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knock knock whose there? suck my a s s barf

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What's the answer to all your problems The answer

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Why did the road cross the chicken? REVENGE

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Your mom is so stupid she has to get homeschooled for college!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was attached to a bomb filled with spoons

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Roses are red, Facebook is blue, no mutual friends, WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!?!?

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Soooo... a black man walked into a bar and asked the bartender for a beer.

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What did the black man do when his car was rear-ended? He exchanged insurance information with the other driver.

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How do you scare a Jew Hold your lighter up and blow out the flame and I've toward him real slowly and see how much drama he'll cause

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what did the Nazi do when his Jewish rabbit died? silly Nazi rabbits don't have religion

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How do you post a Tasmanian devil? Recorded Delivery

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Why did the Dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did Justin Bieber bieber his bieber? Because Bieber biebers his bieber when his bieber need a bieber bieber. BIEBER

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who let the dogs out my mom because they're fat and need exercise

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why did the kid get home from school early cause he was home from school..

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Why don't carrot tops souls ? They just don't

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A black man and a mexican are in a car. Whos driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful time. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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So a black man steals a bike Because it was unlocked, and that was just poor planning.

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Dan was friends with Dick. Dick likes to give massages to Dan. Dan's favorite is Dickie's special mixture. He will remember Dick, his favorite personal assisatant for life. CREEPER

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops