how do you get blondes to drown? stick a mirror to the bottom of the pool

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How do you kill a cancer patient? Throw a fridge at him.

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A man walked into a bar with his friend. He drinks a certain amount of beers, and has his friend safely drive him home.

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What's worse than losing a contact Having a bloody stool

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Why was six afraid of seven? because seven has cold, dead eyes.

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Why did the black man approach a small white girl in the alley? He was knew in town and needed directions

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Q: Whats blue and white and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A: A tree wearing a denim jacket.

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why did graeme go to olivias house to do fun things

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Roses are red, Violets are violet

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Did you hear about the human cannonball who lost his job? Circus attendance is on the decline, as people are spending less money on entertainment, due to a slow economy and poor consumer confidence. Because the circus owners paid him under the table, he did not qualify for unemployment and was force to take a job at Hardies. He has a drinking problem and suffers from depression.

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Q. What's worse than 9/11? A. That one shark jumping episode of Happy Days.

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Patient: Doctor Doctor! Doctor: Yes. Patient: I think I'm a moth! Doctor: You don't need a doctor, you need Mental help. Patient: Yes I know. Doctor: Then why are you here? Patient: The light was on.

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Why is a four year olds bedroom the hottest place in Texas? Its on fire, like the rest of the state because of a tragic wildfire thats ruining the lives of many people.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know either, i'm just wondering why a chicken is trying to cross the road!

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A blonde is elected President of the United States. Half way through her inauguration speech, she forgets how to read.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews undergo metabolism, maintain homeostasis, possess a capacity to grow, respond to stimuli, reproduce and, through natural selection, adapt to their environment in successive generations. More complex living organisms can communicate through various means.[1][5] A diverse array of living organisms (life forms) can be found in the biosphere on Earth, and the properties common to these organisms—plants, animals, fungi, protists, archaea, and bacteria—are a carbon- and water-based cellular form with complex organization and heritable genetic information. Pizza does not.

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Why was the man sad? Because he found his 80 year old mother had been raped and murdered in her home...

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i feel like i will die some heroic death, but its more likely i will trip over my dog and choke on a spoonful of frosting.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Oh, hi Dave, come inside.

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What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? Jews don't celebrate Christmas, therefore nothing

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A man walks into a bar carrying a piece of asphalt under his arm. The bartender says, "We don't serve construction workers here."

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is this the krusty krab? no this is smooth lobster.

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How did Mario finally defeat Bowser? He took Steriods

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops