Santa Claus is so hairy he need to shave more often.

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What did little Susie give to young Billy on Christmas? Genital Herpes.

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How come the man couldnt read the directions? He was reading it upside down.

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Whats worse than burning jews? jews that are alive

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adam sucks off disabled old men for a pac of biscuits

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what is the diffrence between a chinesse man and a japanesse man, one is ruled by a cruel communist leader.

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whats the difference between a pizza and a jew? Pizza is not human, Jewish people are.

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What did Santa say to the prostitute? "Merry Christmas!"

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What do two black guys do when they walk into the convienent store with masks? Buy candy for Trick-or-Treating

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What do you call a big hungry duck? A duck thats hungry and big

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I ran in to Hitler. "Hey, Hitler, what's up?" I asked. "Well, this time I am going to kill 6 million Jews and 2 clowns." "Two clowns?" I ask. "Why two clowns?" "See!" He exclaimed. "No one cares about the Jews!"

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So there's this one Cheerio who really likes this frosted Cheerio. He walks up to her one day and asks her out. She responded, "no I only date frosted Cheerios." The Cheerio then went and got a tutor, he became very, very smart and turned into a multi-grain Cheerio. He goes up to the frosted Cheerio and asks her out. "no, you're still not a frosted Cheerio." he gets a gym membership and works really, really hard and becomes and apple cinnamon Cheerio. He asks her out again, "no you're still not a frosted Cheerio." so he goes to church too and becomes a honey nut Cheerio. "no you're still not a frosted Cheerio." he focuses and tries even harder than ever before and finally becomes a frosted Cheerio. He asks her out, "will you be my girlfriend? I heard about this party this weekend we can go to." she answers, "I'll be your girlfriend, let's go to that party." So, they go to this party. The boy asks. "do you want anything to drink?" the girl says "sure maybe some wine." the boy en goes to the wine store. There's a super long line and he waits and waits but goes back to the party. He tells her and asks her if she wants anything else. "some soda maybe." he goes to the soda shop and there's another long line and he waits until he can't take it and goes back again. He tells h and asks her if she wants anything else. "some punch please." He goes to the punch store, and there's no punch line.

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Your momma is so stupid Her iq must be below 50

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On a scale of 1 to 10, 7 being the highest, what is you favorite color

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I don't want to share my name yet if that is okay, I mean I have not seen you, but you have seen me just saying. Tell me how old you are first, I am 26, or 27, being more or less an orphan since birth details like that kinda lose themselves. And no, its not Eliza, I will wait for you here if you do not mind, there are still people that have thought I am Nero all this while, that`s what worries me, I doubt I can convince them I am chatting with myself this time around.

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Person 1: Ask me if i'm a tree. Person 2: Are you a tree? Person 1: No.

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did you know helen keller had a swingset? neither did she

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What do you call a black man that flies a plane? -A pilot

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Whats yellow and cant swim? A bulldozer

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knock knock Who's there? Someone who wants to save you from the shitty dinner your lazy wife made.

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Hey guys! Today is September 10th you know what tomorrow means? Party at my house! ...What? It's my birthday.

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My life is a dream in of itself.. inception???

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What's the difference between a bag of dead babies and a Ferrari? I have a bag of dead babies in my garage.

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Did you hear about the guy with five penises? Me neither, because that sounds like a very improbable aberration.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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