What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam...

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Your mom is so fat, that when she stepped on the scale she was disappointed with the number that appeared.

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I bit a horses leg. Why? Because I thought i was a vampire. I also bit my sisters glodfish in half.. Why? Cause I wanted revenge on my sister.

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How did the blind man end up in the hospital? He didnt see the bus coming.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Violets are not blue They are Violet

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Q: What is sad about 4 people in a Cadillac driving over a cliff? A: You could have fit more.

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What do you do to vegetables to make them taste good? Nothing. They are still people, and they can't speak up for themselves.

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender: why the long face Horse: I'm dying of an incurable cancer...

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Q: Why doesn't the Mexican belong in St. Louis? A: Because he ran away from home, his family lives in Kansas City.

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When life throws you lemons, duck.

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knock, knock who's there owls owls who thats right owls who

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look at the top of your screen. now look down. I MADE YOU DO THAT

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Why did the Mr. bunny play the piano? - His wife Lannette was ill, and her last wish before she died was for him to.

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What did the giraffe say to the other? nothing giraffes cant talk

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What do you get when you cross a spoon and a fork? A spoon crossed with a fork.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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Q: What do you call it when you get shot in the face 20 times with a shotgun? A:Nothing, you're dead. Q:What do we call it when you get shot 20 times with a shotgun? A: A blessing.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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How long does it take a black woman to have a baby? Nine months, give or take a few days depending on whether she goes into labour early or not.

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Where do you find a baby with no arms or legs? Where you left it.

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whats worse than 2 people dying? 3 people dying.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? The chicken was locked in a cage and the nearest intersection is about a mile away.

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Here's another:

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What did the screwdriver do when it was insulted? It got up and walked away.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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