What is blue and on the bottom of the pool. A drowned baby

The biggest lie in the world . . . I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

How do you make a japanese man horny? Mutilate his girlfriend

What are you getting for Christmas? Wasted.

What is similar about a goose and newly weds? They both aren't chairs

How does shit taste?\ Good.

Im Tom and I'm an alcoholic...

Q: What do you get when you cross an Elephant and a Rhinoceros? A: Merriam-Webster defines "cross" as "an affliction that tries one's virtue, steadfastness, or patience." This comedic exercise is one such affliction.

I meant to state that I threatened to kill him unless he refused to state that I broke his knees (and broke his wrists, I forgot to mention that too, such misery... ...Give a real man a chance here, its not every day I have to kill my mother... But you still wont hear me whining about it, asked my wife if she forgave me if I spent the rest of the day smirking, after all my mother "had visions" where my wife was Satan, which is fun, since I was also Satan the day I was born... Because my name is Nero... A NAME SHE GAVE ME! Still, not very dignifying getting the shit beat out that old hag because she was on some blend of angel dust, and still not so fun killing her by biting half her neck off... ...Literally not so fun, kinda fun? You bet, tasted disgusting, watching her choke to death was...Lets just say I have shared enough joy with you for one day.

when there's trouble lurking in your neighbourhood, who you gonna call? The local authorities.

Why did the Jew have so much money? He had a good education and therefore, a high paying job.

What did Batman say to Robin after they got on the bus? We should have taken the batmobile.

today a nazi canadian killed himself the world is now a better place

what did the bot get for his birthday? .. men!

Henry's mom packed Henry sweaters And lots of things besides sweaters Henry went to war He saw lots of gore Logically, he wouldn't need a sweater because he had to wear his uniform during the battle. Did i mention that Henry likes chocolate?

Q: How do you call a group of animals? A: Llama.

everybody loves raymond

You just wasted time of your life reading this, and perhaps even more wasted time thumbing this down.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

Whats worse than being white and in harlem on the 4th of july? Your schizophrenic father leaving you a voicemail detailing the politics of successful encounters with prostitutes.

Now Showing: EVIL SLOTHS II "The worst death is a slow death."

Why did the tight shirted Asian man spend all his time on his knees? Because when he was 12 he was forced to work in a textile factory where he lost his lower legs.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He never did because he's in KFC

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because his work office was there and if he had not crossed, he would have had to get back in his car and parked in the company parking space therefore taking more time and costing a small but significant amount of money

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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